Goonies Never Say Throw Up

music to drip to

2012-01-26T09:45:00.010-05:00

so in honor of beyonce having her pretend blue baby i made a playlist ! for you to bootyclap and/or twerk to. it's a celebration of pop/hiphop/r&b and other umbrella genres once-considered "bad" by music snobs, but secretly enjoyed by people who wished they were music snobs, all while thoroughly appealing to the postironic-mainstreaming music snobs. basically a grouping of songs that sound like the radio's bastard children dripping in amniotic fluid. while you enjoy these tunes you can drop it like it's hot, or bounce around like a charlie brown character, whatever swag you got. it's versatile and ~fluid. you can even nod your head to the sounds while relaxing in a kiddie-pool full of slime while you await the impending file-sharing apocalypse. or whatever you like to do with your free-time. that's your business.

boy

Misc. Update

2012-01-23T17:59:00.000-05:00

grl

Scrooge McDuck

2011-12-23T21:57:00.004-05:00

Papaw died :(

I am moving to Asheville on January 1st. Hopefully Leah can get all her affairs in order. My last day of work was today and the house is all packed up and ready to go. Now all we are waiting on is for her mom to get the financial aid squared away. It's taking longer than we expected and there is a chance that she may not get it in time. I will be very, very upset if I have quit my job and terminated my lease for nothing. But I guess that's life and I'll just have to get over it.

I'm a selfish person. I try not to be, but sometimes I am. It seems to me that I live my life for other people. I try not to piss my parents off and I try to be supportive of the people I love, but good god. I just want to be able to do what I want. I want a family who accepts me and I want to be able to take opportunities and chances. But then I remember that other people don't have parents at all and that I should appreciate the life I have. I'm sorry if I want more. I love my girlfriend and I want the best for her. I want to help her achieve her goals, but I can only do what she will allow. I feel really out of sorts about all this. I know I can make everything okay. Great even. No one will let me. Maybe I've taken all my chances and lived the way I wanted already. Maybe now I have to relinquish control of my life and leave it in the hands of fate. I don't want that. I want to be at the helm. But my decisions affect other people and I am having a hard time getting around that.

I've been laughing at this for days:

girl

Shocking Realization: Suicide!

2011-12-07T19:16:00.004-05:00

This is my first "shocking realization" and I think its a great debut:

I SAW HALF OF A DEAD PERSON. Capital letters are really important here. Leah and I were driving home on Saturday night at midnight when we came upon two fire trucks and a cop car or two. There was a stopped train and lots of flashlights. The authorities hadn't been there long and we were the first to arrive after them. I cracked the window and heard a lot of dogs barking. Our lane was blocked so we had time to kill. I made Leah move closer so I could get a better look. The street lights follow the train tracks because they are right beside of a little green-way that runs through town (my cycling path), making the severed bottom half of a very unfortunate person perfectly visible. It was a shocking realization if I've ever had one. The legs and ankles looked thin. The feet wore orange flip flops and the legs sported navy sweat pants that appeared to be too small. There was nothing gruesome besides the blood that had stained the groin area of the pants black. Oh and the MISSING TORSO. His flip flops were still on his feet and his legs were in a spread eagle position. Nothing vulgar or distasteful. More comfortable than anything. Anyway, as you can imagine there was a lot of gagging and screaming in our vehicle. The usual carrying-on. There is no police report or anything and I finally found out today that it was a "homeless person". They won't give any other details. Leah and I thought it looked like a child aged 12-14 years. Based on the size of the feet. I mean that's all there was to base this observation on. I'm going to Nancy Drew this mystery until I figure out all of the details. I even went so far as to post an accident report on some accident report database website thing. The internet makes detective work a breeze.

girl

Sugarwalls

2011-11-30T11:44:00.003-05:00

I know I've been posting a lot recently. Sorry, Chuck. I'll die of boredom if I don't. I'm at work right now. Being tortured by Kat Country online streaming. It's commercial-free! I endure this everyday. It's half the reason why I'm quitting. Having said that, what free time I have here is generally spent googling phrases like "the band perry sucks" or "luke bryan terrible" to find other people who share my contempt for these assholes. Surprisingly, the results I'm looking for are few. With the exception of Sugarland. There's a huge divide there. Either people love them or hate them. And by 'them' I mean the lead singer. Everytime "It Happens" comes on the radio I think, "Okay, I'm definitely going to have a seizure this time." I brace myself right before the "wally world" line.

Today, however, is my lucky day. I found a blog called Crappy Country Song of the Week. The person is a little pretentious, but what blogger isn't? Hell, I know I am. It's really funny though and you should give it a try. This person understands that, when refering to the genre in general, "country" is a misleading umbrella term. Good country music exists, but it belongs to a different generation. I'll be fair and say that good contemporary country music exists too. Somewhere out there. Just not on the radio.

girl

While Reading The Papers

2011-11-28T15:33:00.005-05:00

Sweet article on the correlation between the price of drugs and violence trends: http://www.economist.com/node/21540452

Not the expected conclusion.

girl

Black Hole

2011-11-25T19:48:00.004-05:00

I'm getting an old, familiar feeling. A few of you probably know what I'm talking about.

We have living arrangements planned for the spring semester. We will be sharing an attic apartment with a mid-thirties lesbian. She's pretty cute. Has a dog. Seems nice and easy to get along with. Rooming with anyone is always a gamble. Regardless of whether you know them or not.

There's a documentary on Stephen Hawking on Science Channel right now. It's definitely intense. He has a very cute assistant. Apparently this guy has to pretty much guess what Hawking is trying to say due to his deteriorating condition. He looks scared. Also, there's a man who appears to be Mr. Hawking's bearded arch-nemesis. He is reveling in this half-dead man's incorrect theory about black holes. I hate him and and I hope he gets blown up in his giant death star by the end of the movie.

I gave my notice at work a couple of weeks ago. I feel anxious. I feel very something. Unfulfilled perhaps. I am reading "Zen Keys" again. Its so weird to know that there is absolutely no guide by which to live life. No teacher can tell you how to be successful or be happy. That you have to discover for yourself. And no one can duplicate your method. And even if they could, they wouldn't get anything out of it because everyone has a unique set of spiritual needs infused into the fibers of their being. That's the way I see it anyway. I mean, that pretty much eliminates most religious doctrines as being valid as self proclaimed sovereignty. Maybe each has insightful and useful elements, but not one can tell you how to live in order to reach spiritual "enlightenment". I really wish they could.

I am struggling with dangerous urges and I don't really know how to approach them. Go with them? Live them? Or avoid them? I want to be compassionate and calm. Like Bodhidharma. I am not doing so well. I'm afraid I'm going to become destructive and insensitive. And unlike the practitioners in Indian mythology, I don't have an endless amount of years to fuck up and begin tapasyana all over again. Not that I'm producing much spiritual heat lately anyway, haha. I think its all getting sucked up by the frigid air in my unheated apartment.

I went for like two weeks using only baking soda and vinegar on my hair until Leah used up all the baking soda in the cat litter. Of course, it was the cat's baking soda to begin with, but still. I had to use shampoo one morning until I could get more. It has been a really satisfying experience. I'm very happy with my results.

Where's Boy?!

girl

Turning Mexican

2011-11-08T20:40:00.003-05:00

I've been meaning to sit down and write a blog for a while. Just been waiting for the right time. Like after I've just sat in the bathtub for two hours trying to entice the cat into the water with me. She will sit on the ledge and let her tail flop in the water about four inches. Just enough so that it sags and drips when she jumps down. But that's not a new trick. She's been performing it for Leah for a long time.

I saw Unknown Hinson the Friday before Halloween. It was pretty fun. Boy, Leah and my cousin Kyle came too. Well, Leah and Boy sipped whiskey from a Pepsi bottle in bar bathrooms while Kyle and I gushed over the King of Country Western for three hours. It was a great show but not as good as the one I attended with Jamie (of the Hungry Sisters). He told more jokes at the first one and I mean Jamie did get a missed connection. I'm not sure how much better it can get. I met him this time, though. Got some merch signed. WON 200 HUNDRED DOLLARS AT A BAR. Almost forgot about that. Yeah I did. Thanks to Leah's friend. Put my name in a drawing and won 200 hundred bucks while a band who played nothing but bad 90's radio rock fist pumped to my victory. I was pretty drunk, but I still pulled off one of those price-is-right faces.

I was going to do an 18 day clinical study two weeks from now, but that sort of fell through and now I'm scheduled to do it in January. I know 18 days sounds balls to the wall, but get this: My girlfriend is doing a five hour study next Monday where they stick a catheter in her jugular vein and then send a wire through it all the way up to the bottom of her ear. Then they put an oxygen mask on her and take the O2 levels up and down. They do all of this to measure how much oxygen gets to her brain at different levels of exposure while she's wearing this Robot Laser Helmet that is supposed to do the same thing only its non-invasive. Just testing the Robot Laser Helmet for accuracy before it goes on the market. You know, new technology. That probably makes us both sound like bums, but you have no idea how much money it pays. Plus its on a Monday and that's her weekly day off. What better way to spend your only day off a week?! Me? Well I'm just quitting my job all together. Guinea pig is the life for me.

Nah but we are actually moving back to Asheville at the end of December so she can finish her THREE CLASSES and graduate with some sort of Literature degree. I don't know. Something pretentious. Anyway, I won't have a job in January regardless so it works out.

I sold my snowboard. Not the new one, but my very first one. The one I've had countless embarrassing accidents and near death experiences on. Oh god, the cat nearly turned over my beer. I am drinking Modelo. Don't you dare judge me. I have probably been good and drunk one or two times over the past three months. Just because I am drinking terrible beer does not mean I'm an alcoholic with no money. Let's be clear. I happen work with a lot of Mexicans. And Kyle bought this.

I still love biking, even though I have been getting rides to work and back. I'm going to buy a bad ass bike as soon as I move. I want to join a team or something. I know there are some in Asheville. I would like to compete once just to see how bad I do.

My cat farts a lot. A lot. She's as delicate and pure as swan with the manners of a chimpanzee. Or maybe a cow. Yeah her farts are more like cow farts. They cloud up the room and hang heavily in the air. If you're not prepared, you could very well be shocked into unconsciousness and then smothered by the toxic fumes. She's totally aware too. That's the most uncomfortable part. She actually enjoys the smell of her gas. We've switched her to some fancy food and all but it doesn't help. I should probably stop feeding her cheddar cheese and yogurt from the table. My baby loves dairy.

I'm going to stop using shampoo. I've been reading about hair on the internet. It sounds like the best thing to do. All those harsh chemicals I'm putting in my hair everyday?! Goodness no! Better use baking soda and vinegar so I can smell like a pickle at work. Perhaps my luscious mane will divert my co-workers' attention. But for real. I'm going to try it. I've read that some people only use water. That's right. WATER ONLY. My hair would look like a grease pit. But baking soda and vinegar is supposed to be a magical potion that will cure all your hair afflictions. If there's one thing I'm good at it's subscribing to herbal bologna. Maybe I'll document my experience here.

Well that's all I have. I'm waiting for Leah to get home from work so we can eat leftover Mexican food and watch a movie on the laptop. One of the three movies we own and have seen a thousand times. Two of which were stolen from the Conover public library. One year in and this is what we're reduced to. Science experiments, Sims 2, and Kill Bill vol. 1.

Girl

News Girl

2011-10-02T11:44:00.005-04:00

Lets talk about Erin Burnett. She was a big part of CNBC for a while and one of my favorite anchors. Now she's got a big break and is moving to CNN for a prime time show which will start on Oct. 3rd. Boy do I wish I had cable.

First of all, she's so hot. I fell in love with her during my sophomore year of college. She looks like a daytime soap star with a jewy schnoz. I do like a big nose. Also there's this:

I want to get drunk on national television. Anyway she's really smart when it comes to markets.

And she's into threesomes? A major perk of being a talented trader.

grl

Black Top

2011-09-23T16:30:00.005-04:00

Boy came to visit! We journeyed afoot to the Bi-Lo to get some beer and encountered the aftermath of a tragedy:

Merked.

I think he got a pic of that guy too. He might have a better view of the popped eyeball.

That's one of the best youtube covers I've looked at in a long time. Probably because I haven't looked at any youtube covers in a long time. He's way too old for that tie-dye motif though.

girl

Puddin'

2011-09-19T22:30:00.000-04:00

So what are the "treasures" within the mind that Zen Buddhism attempts to direct us to? They say words can't explain it and I've never experienced it but I want to fucking know!

We are delivered from limitations and elevated to a realm that defies intellectualism as we know it. A mysticism that is found in the everyday, natural life of anything. We are to understand the nature of things so that they are transparent and essentially nothing at all.

And I have to wonder, even though I know its just a foolish thought, why the Zen master isn't the most materially rich person in the world. I mean, the world is full of some pretty sweet treasures. To uncover the nature of being and non being, or whatever exists in the night seas of our mind(s), must be to understand each living thing, right? And couldn't you be pretty successful with that sort of information?

I guess the zen master is not a businessman in spirit and he is not a manipulator in spirit. Perhaps he has no heart, as we think of it, and he has no desire to use true enlightenment to achieve the glories of the secular world. And furthermore, that is probably entirely impossible, because true enlightenment does not translate into the framework of modern society well, if at all.

I am reminded of the embrace of Vasishta and Kaushika. Once a great king, Kaushika spent so much of his life in tapasyana for the sake of revenge and later became one with the very enemy and inspiration of his holiness. Bitter and hot tempered, he tried to undo the son of Brahma who humbled him and stole his pride, by also becoming a brahmarishi himself to destroy him with his tapasyana. Only, in his pursuit he achieved complete compassion and upon encountering his enemy he was entirely at peace and undisturbed by their history. Vasishta recognized him as his equal and also felt no animosity, as he had long possessed the serene, transcendent nature Kaushika had finally obtained.

Now, it could be the pumpkin ale and the wassail, but I see something here. At the end of the journey of the Zen follower (and the Hindu follower?), there is no knowledge at all. Nothing that would help to achieve wealth or power or even an emotional high in this temporal world. If anything exists it is perhaps a restfulness in the sublime. A relief from the body, the mind and this odd world we live in. The things that we identify with in our lives will cease to mean anything at all. Fall to the wayside like intangible lotus petals. I think this is the practical application of seeking nothing.

I'm really only a Zen baby (hopefully a toddler by now). And God knows I'm no philosopher. And from what I can tell Zen Buddhism isn't really a philosophy at all. To name it is to completely lose sight of it. To even think about it beyond general communication purposes is to distort it. If there are no words and there are no thoughts to explain it then it cannot be of this world of intricate systems and structures that we live in. It exists deep within us and it is nothing at all. A way of living life that helps us find nothing to speak of, which perhaps, is somehow the something that is found in every being. Maybe some kind of peace or rapture. Could it be that if we looked with the right mind at the living thing, or any common thing, we could see through it to whatever it is that it belongs to? To what our spirit also belongs to?

But even to try and grasp it in such vague terms is to feel it slip away. I've read that meditation is unnatural for the human mind, and while I completely disagree that it is not an effective means to its desired end, I also, more obviously, see how living is simply an every-man's way of finding enlightenment. But where do I find the right place to start living and what condition should my spirit be in when I begin? I think this is the Westerner's problem with Oriental thinking.

Does this even make sense? Sometimes I wonder if my "perception" of Zen is correct and then I realize that it almost certainly isn't because it is just that: a perception. I cannot tack something down that is made up of such duality and nonsense. Haha, I feel like Peter Pan chasing his shadow.

This has made pudding out of my already beer-soaked brain and I know you guys don't give a fuck about this sort of blabbering so I'ma peace out.

grl

Epic Journey Continues

2011-08-31T20:55:00.006-04:00

Have you ever really read the Ramayana? I don't mean just for a class or whatever. Like seriously read/contemplated the Ramayana. There's a pretty good longer version by Ramesh Menon. It's around 685 pages but it's a lot better than the little shortened ones. It really is a good story. Sometimes I feel like Rama (an extremely reprehensible version) in exile. This DUI has made me feel cut off from society. That sounds so dramatic, but for real, haha.

I found internet on the porch again. So much more convenient than biking to McDonalds! Oh blog, I have a new idea. So Leah has to go back and finish her last semester at UNCA in the spring which means we are moving back to Asheville (bleh) this winter. As you well know, biking has become a way of life for me. It has transformed from a necessity into a hobby and a passion. Well, I have this idea for a business. It's not a new, innovative idea. It's an environmentally friendly spin on an age old industry. I actually have more than an idea; I've got a fully developed business plan. Haha! Anyway, it's too far out to let you in on the details.

I HAVE A BED! We've been sleeping on a couch since the third week in July (special thanks to B and D for moving it in) and before that we slept like wretches on our lovely hardwood floors. Today my grandma brought over a bed and I am so excited. I'm also drinking Heineken which is a step above the Bud Light that I've been forced to drink and I feel like it is my birthday or Halloween or something wonderful. I'm the swill guzzling, pedal pushing avatar of Vishnu, by god.

I have a kitty cat. She's snowy white and as graceful and delicate as a swan. I think she's a little blind or dumb or something, because she's not good at catching bugs. I thought cats were supposed to be expert moth snatchers, but this one needs some practice.

God. That is all. Nothing else has happened in my life. The car is getting fixed soon and a trip up the mountain to Boy and Friend's is definitely in order. Maybe there will be something good to tell after that. Perhaps a joint blog...

grl

superbusy lifestuff

2011-08-18T15:44:00.014-04:00

i'm in the library. i got an apartment tuesday night, but there is no electricity or water yet. wednesday morning i went for a drive to collect some waters for me and the roommate. it was really cold. i spilled said waters all in my lap and crashed my car into a tree. car is completely dead and i momentarily thought i was too. after flailing around like a wild animal who'd just been captured, i collapsed in the passenger seat and thought, "is this death?! is this hell?!" my car horn would not stop screaming and my doors were jammed shut. airbag air smells and tastes really bad. it was all very loud and unexpected and disorienting. the only thing i could think to do was jerk the ipod dock out of the dash. salem was resonating some ghoulish tunes, probably the kind of music they play in hell, but with much more hi-hats. the last time i totaled a car i was listening to the unicorns and i've never been able to listen to them since. they're obnoxious and abrasive and my cd skips. i was young and stupid and listening to awful music at the time. funny how that always happens.

it wasn't until yellow-shirted jogger came to inform me that i had been in a "terrible accident" that i came back to reality. i narrowly escaped purgatory. that man was very attractive and may have been bald jesus. i was surprisingly unharmed other than a few minor scrapes and bruises. miraculous.

this blog is brought to you by procrastination. i got a job writing online, which is both very dangerous and exciting. getting paid to write is a ~dream come true~ but the internet and i have this long sordid relationship where i waste my time, and it teases me relentlessly. i'm just kidding. i can blog all i want. this is writing practice. i have actually been doing research all morning on birth control, and i already wrote an article about robotic hysterectomies, which i never even knew existed. i dont know why all my assignments are so vaginal. i'm in some sort of rebirthing period, if you will. i'm learning a lot about vaginas and i've never even really had an interest, but i guess knowledge is power. my boss heard that i had a blog but i dont think this is the kind of blog for him. this is the kind of blog that gets you fired.* i also have another prospect for employment. starting monday i will lay tile and i'm pretty excited about that. a tile apprentice. it's some real classy shit too: beautiful craftsmanship, etc. i will have a tile trial-period for a few days to see if i am cut out for it. i hope i do a good job and am able to lift heavy materials. tiles are heavy. i need get buff so i can lift tiles in order to learn to make pretty things. that way i can ultimately own pretty things one day, by either making them or paying someone else to make them. i also need to learn how to drive a stickshift so i can get places. dis life shits a lotta work.

*dear future employers of the internet, if you do find this blog, i will have you know that there is a market for writing terrible and bullshitty things on the internet. check out this snippet from wikipedia:

"In 2002, Armstrong ignited a fierce debate about privacy issues when she was allegedly fired from her job as a web designer and graphic artist because she had written satirical accounts of her experiences at a dot-com startup on her personal blog, dooce.com."

dooce is pretty good. i'm not even a new mother or a former mormon, but i used to read her blog religiously. i had nothing better to do one summer. you should check it out sometime because you obviously have a lot of free time too.

love forever,
boy

As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.

2011-08-03T15:02:00.011-04:00

I just found that quote on the Internet. It's from the Bible. Proverbs 26:11. I don't think I've ever heard it before because that's not a verse they try to teach you in Sunday School. I can't remember learning anything good in Sunday School, to be quite honest. And while we're being honest, the Bible doesn't really make much sense to me anyway. It never really held my interest. I always just wanted to hear about the Song of Solomon because I heard it was about sex, and songs are fun! However, this post is not about the Bible; it's about repression of self and making terrible choices and being unable to get a job at the Shell gas station. It's a recurring theme and a true story: I can't get a job at the gas station. I just saw a sign that told me that God had a plan for my life though, so I'm relieved that somebody does.

I read this short story called "Deniers" by Sam Lipsyte. I love a good short story. It was in a copy of The New Yorker that I found in the trash. It's so good! especially for riffraff. I love The New Yorker because it always has words that I don't know. This story doesn't have a lot of hard words though, so don't be scared. I am about to spoil the entire plot, so maybe you should be scared of that.

"Deniers" is about the drug-addicted daughter of a Holocaust survivor. Her father never talked about the Holocaust because he felt that people should not talk about their problems. The mother has an affair with an entrepreneur whose attempting to open a Shell gas station near their home. The entrepreneur dumps her and she ends up killing herself with carbon monoxide in the garage. The Holocaust survivor goes senile, and when he's not berating his daughter for being on drugs, he's asking where his dead wife is. The daughter begins dating a neo-Nazi who became obsessed with Jews and trying to reform himself. All these people are doing a shit-ton of self-denial in this story; the title works on several levels.

Have you ever seen this picture? It's by Dash Snow and was used in the short story to grab my attention. It worked.

The quote about dog vomit also caught my attention because I found it while searching for this short-story online. It all seemed very pertinent to my life and is clearly part of God's message. It reminds me of a quote from Andy Warhol, who I know much better than Jesus.

"Sometimes the little times you don't think are anything while they're happening turn out to be what marks a whole period of your life."
— Andy Warhol

That is so true Andy Warhol, like folly and vomit and kissing too many boys.

Boy

Way Over Yonder In The Minor Key

2011-07-28T12:46:00.007-04:00

Hello Blog. Today is a weird day. On my way to work I pulled out in front of dangerously close traffic without realizing. My mind and body were caught in a strange trance like the time I ran that obviously red light and hit that obviously oncoming car with not so much as a forethought. That has been happening to me lately. I stopped taking the anti anxiety medicine because I don't think it does anything and I can make do without it.

My mom called me first thing in the morning on the phone at work to yelling at me because my sister is airing out all my dirty laundry to everyone she knows or something. I don't really know. Nor do I care. I am exceedingly angry with my sister though. I thought it was clear that my parents didn't want people knowing about my "lifestyle" and I was fine to keep to myself and move 30 minutes out of their way. Apparently my sister didn't understand that. I never visit because I can't drive. I never speak to them because I don't have a cellphone. My mother said that it was not acceptable for me to be open about my relationship in her hometown. Well I moved out of her "hometown" and I avoid my extended family and everyone she knows just for her. If I'd have had the money to move to Cambodia I'd have done it just to make them happy. But still she calls and causes me strife. My relationship with my parents dangles by a few threads and now those seem to be in eminent danger. It's hard for me to tell if I should really care though. I wonder if I should be more angry at myself for wanting to preserve the ruins of my family ties than I should be at my sister for inadvertently trying to destroy them. I also wonder if someday my family will chill out like other people's. I think that's wishful thinking though. They are too deeply rooted in the sovereignty of conservative religious doctrine to ever chill out. If I were a proper yogini I would say something like "is that so?" every time I am screamed at about my own adult life. But I am clearly not a proper seeker of anything at all. For whatever reason my heart is still sore from their attitude toward me since I moved and made my "choice". That is a fundamental problem. I drink too much alcohol to be enlightened anyway. Someday, though. I will understand whatever it is that we are supposed to know about ourselves as human beings. Or maybe just beings. Or non-beings. That's a web of conundrums I don't feel like wriggling through right now.

I've been reading about inward journeys and self-induced cultural forms of schizophrenia. It's certainly not practical in our modern age for everyone to go through that process, but I think it could validate my life in a way that I'll never see otherwise. Riding a bike everywhere allows for a lot of meditation on weird things. Such as considering schizophrenia as a real option...

The two of us have 13 dollars to live on for the next seven days. I am interested to know how that will work. I hate rent weeks.

girl

goodnight hallelujah

2011-06-28T06:20:00.008-04:00

I've had lots of fun lately. Catching minnows in streams and trying to learn French dances. I've also been applying everywhere in this city and not having any luck. I lost my wallet the other day and drove around everywhere looking for it. I told my friend that if Jesus was real he would show us the wallet. That's when my mom called to tell me that someone had found it. It was a miracle. Jesus saved my life. Maybe Jesus would like to fill the wallet now? Pretty please Jesus.

I read some things the other night and thought about sharing them.

"In my sensory education, I include my physical awareness of a word. Of a certain word, that is: the connection it has with what it stands for. At around aged six, perhaps, I was standing by myself in our front yard waiting for supper, just at that hour in a late summer day when the sun is already below the horizon and the risen full moon in the visible sky stops being chalky and begins to take on light. There comes a moment, and I saw it then, when the moon goes from flat to round. For the first time, it met my eyes as a globe. The word “moon” came into my mouth as though fed to me out of a silver spoon. Held in my mouth the moon became a word. It had the roundness of a Concord grape Grandpa took off his vine and gave me to suck out of its skin and swallow whole, in Ohio."

-Eudora Welty, Listening

This makes me want to write things and be a better writer. This current blog does not count. How do you be a writer and how do you find what to write about? I am pretty sure I don't entirely grasp what Eudora is talking about. She is talking about imagery in a very vivid way. Someday I want to capture something this elusive.

Here's a snippet from a documentary about Leonard Cohen. I've never actually seen it, but probably should. It seems highly appropriate for now.

Boy

THIS THE TITLTE AND SHOT

2011-06-21T23:16:00.019-04:00

NEW BLOG NEW BLOG

this blog is not going accroding top plan because i can't embed the new beyonce as such how i was plajned. this is not the plan! this was never as such how the blog was supposed to go down! but since this is all fucked to fuckery we can pretend its a bonus track. i i will plain hte new bleyonce like i was supposed to. and plan the blog and such.

http://hulkshare.com/0qdbi699o2n2

that is the link. you can stream from there nigga! straiht up streamin and shit. listen! you cant download because that is full of viruses and spywhare and demons. rest of blog is according to thereverocrfe blog. lol,. PS BONUS CONVOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVO

BEYONCE COUNTDOWN

i feel that the title is much more effective when it is caps-locked. kinda like the song. it's gotta be turned ALL THE WAY up! if it doesn't sound good enough to your pristine caucasian eardrums, then the volume probably isn't high enough. it must be on eleven, you must be losing brain cells, and you must have da bass turned up low. you certainly needn't a man, and u got2 be playin it off like it aint no thang. DA LINK IN BLUE^^^^^^^^^^ copy/paste that shit bitch.

Dear bloggy blog-blog,

apparently i need to uphold my blogger duties and update a blog. it's been a minute. i wrote plenty-a-blog or two, but they are all like, "waaaaah, look at this music, which justifies my life" and thats just not how i want to show my face on the internet. just kidding though, cuz you know its the truth. my life does not necessarily translate well into a beyonce song, but that's what i'm hearing, and that's the best that you'll have Fto do.

in accordance to origoinal bloggery plan this is wher ethe HTMLz of song would be located. pretty funny tha tthe actal point of the blog is not in this blog, right?!!!!!!!

i am not sure how it comes across in blog-format. so far, lately, i have done lots of nothing, and hencetoforth, i plan to do lots of nothing. except listen to this beyonce song. i am well-aware that it sounds like a mess. a big-ol ghetto cacophonious mess. it starts out like "boooooo-ouy," but then it gets all highschool-bandish before it drops into a pan-jived-induced seizure. " it doesn't matter much what i'm saying right now, to be quite honest. this is just a bunch of blogger-BS. leave your car door ajar, blinker still blinkin. this is the sound personified! all up in the black with his chick right beside him. your bass must be dubbbed low, with your boof and your boofboof riding. I am not sure what that means, but it sounds like a pokemon joke. have you ever heard it of boofdoof?

Boofdoof is one of those pokemons that you don't really want on your team, but you allow, just because you think Boofdoof is cute. You will probably think Boofdoof is cute in the 1st five mintues that you start the game, but i'm sure that you'll grow tired of him. Certainly, Boofdoof sounds magical with your Boofboof riding, but fuck a Boofboof! Show him how you ride it! You don't need a man! and personally, I dont give a good-goddamn as to whether this song/blog follows a plausible thought. Boofdoof sucks!, but i will, however, recommend this schizophrenically-orchestrasted Pop Gold Thunder. POP GOLD THUNDER. wouldn't that be the perfect name for a TIME-LIFE collection? that's exactly what this song is.

POPGOLDTHUNDER. Pop-Gold-Thunder! Pop Gold Thunder could easily destroy any of the Boofdoofs out there. drop a dollar, and pitch in on this box-o-wine, Boofdoof! show him how you ride it. that's all i gotta say, dear Boofdoofs. I dont care what you have to say cuz this aint ur blog and u dont speak in a manner in which i can comprehend. Facebook chat aintcha GD telephone. Lemme leave dis door ajar cuz this is wehre I take a piss. You hear dat pissy-piss? Dat bleepybleep and and dat boom-boom bass? dassyer grl B.

loooooooooove
BOY

tutu: are u drinking liquor
boy: bpxpwomete
tutu: thats not a word
boy: lol
boy: boxowine0
tutu: oh
tutu: very nice
tutu: thats practically the cheapest way to get drunk
boy: my last google queery was "massive queef"
boy: serriously
boy: no good googleimages.
boy: yes.
boy: i am pissfaced.
boy: brb
tutu: have u seen that super fireball fart video?
boy: no!
boy: i only watch amateur vaginal squirt demo

http://www.spankwire.com/Squirting-Lesson-By-Amateur-Teacher/video75429

tutu: really?!
tutu: there are pages of good shit on there!!
boy: dude
boy: but amaeur vaginal squirt demo is like the bes thing it eve rsen on theinter.t
boy: right.
tutu: lol
tutu: its like my blog
tutu: through the internet

and there you have it people. it's like his blog. through through internet.

I bid you adieu.

-Boy

Dance Til Your Dead!

2011-06-13T09:18:00.007-04:00

I had a weird dream last night. I usually have about two zombie dreams a week, but this one was a little different.

The entire dream had a gray quality about it. It was never daylight, but never really pitch black. I don't really remember the beginning of the dream, but I know there was a crowd and a sense of urgency and that theme was kept throughout.

Midway through my dream I was at a school dance. My old high school gym. I was leaving the dance when I was overwhelmed with a bunch of dead people on their way inside. They looked terror stricken or miserable. One of the two. Either way they were dressed in formal attire and running, maybe gliding into the gym. They were all in a hurry except for one girl, who was staring at me while everyone else whirled by.

I asked, "Where are they going so fast?"
"To the dance. The world is ending and they're afraid to die."

It then occured to me that they were frantically trying to deny their own deaths. The girl was aware that she was dead. At this point I realized that she was beautiful and, noting her tremendously sad expression, asked her to go on a picnic. She hesitantly accepted and I took her cold, gray hand, not knowing what to expect, and we crossed a dim meadow under dark, swirling clouds to a flannel blanket and a basket of wine and cheese. The girl smiled a little and sat down. She was still sad though. To cheer her up I told her she was beautiful and that I would love her forever. She smiled again and said, "You say that now, but what about when my skin falls off?" In that very moment her skin dripped off her face and onto the blanket. She must have noticed the horror in my eyes as she quickly collected the missing pieces and pressed them back into place. Her eyes were wide and she grabbed my wrist. I then knew that I had accidentally promised a lonley dead girl my undying love. (HA! Dream me and real me are a lot alike). I then said, "Brandon. Get a bag." He appeared with a bag and we stuffed the dead girl in it. She kicked and screamed and made the bag almost impossible to carry home. I couldn't stand the high pitched squeals and animal like movements coming from the bag but I knew I couldn't let her out. I shoved her in the freezer to keep the stench of decay, which was suddenly and unexpectedly seeping from the bag, from stifling us. But then, three men came in and held guns to our heads. They searched the house and finally got to the freezer. He pulled her out and unzipped the bag. Stared a moment. Then they all three left at once. We were relieved on all fronts. No guns, no screaming dead girl. I examined her body. She was blue and shriveled, eyes open wide. I picked her up and Brandon grabbed a spade. We went out to the meadow and began to dig. All of a sudden it was bright and sunny and hot. Her body began to move. Noises came from her throat. "Very little time, very little time" I kept repeating. Finally the hole was dug. She was thawed enough to see and know that she had been betrayed and rejected. Her eyes were still wide and her mouth open. She didn't want to go into the hole and her expression was pitiful. I dropped her in.

Woke up.

Girl

They Don't Even Sing Songs About You When You're Twenty-Two

2011-06-06T08:05:00.006-04:00

Many things have happened! I've moved into an apartment! I ride a bike to work! I've FINALLY been to jail!

Jail was Friday. It sucked. They gave me cold coffee and soppy waffles. I was put into an isolated holding cell (because I'm so bad) and I thought I would die of boredom. Then my parents trapped me in a car for four hours and road me around telling me how sinful I am and that god can make me not bisexual if I ask him to. I didn't even begin to tell them that I prayed for him to make me straight from the time I was seven until I was twelve. It's all useless. Anyway, they still love me somehow. I do appreciate that, but I'd have rather spent that four hours sitting in a jail cell.

I am in a new apartment that is a little over three miles from work. It's a very pleasant morning ride, though I'm not sure how pleasant it will be this afternoon in 95 degree heat and 5 o clock traffic. I'm not too worried though.

Today is my birthday and it feels like it's going to be a good day.

Dancing Gays

2011-05-13T14:15:00.005-04:00

This is unimportant. Seems to be my theme these days...

Anyway, Arkansas' biggest, and I do mean biggest, and most famous lesbo has delivered once again. IN FEBRUARY. I guess I hate music or something.

Girl: im getting geared up for jail. smokin a cig and listening to johnny cash
on a record player.
GF: OH MY GOD. This cat is perfect. It's part Siamese and I am reading if there are any weird breed traits. Apparently, they can be "guard cats."
GF: Also, I just ignored the other things you said.

girl

Doin' Time

2011-05-09T19:19:00.005-04:00

I just realized that I go to jail on Friday the 13th. Oh yeah, I went to court for my DUI. It went well. Didn't have to pay nearly as much as I figured. Things have been on the rocks in the relationships department. All relationships it seems. Especially family though. But whatever. I might be buying my sister's dog. It's a pom/chi mix. CUTE AS A BUTTON. I hate not having a license. I have to ride with my dad to work and he always wants to ask me about what's on my mind and blah blah blah why-are-you-so-gay talk. BECAUSE I WANNABE. Ugh. Work is good though. I'm going to move closer to it on June 1st. I've been looking at scooters. As soon as I sell my car I'll probably buy one.

girl

"Baby, we're levelling up!"

2011-05-03T12:13:00.005-04:00

...I like how gross you are... I love laying topless on Merrimon with you... I love that you love beer and vegetables of any kind... I also like that you cry with me often and nearly wreck your car over lost puppy opportunities... I love that for the first four dates, I thought you only ate Japanese food... Your inability to walk by a mirror and not stare at yourself is more charming than it should be...

AH! LOVE.

I need to make a whole new label just for love.

girl

Sorry I'm So PUNK

2011-04-20T08:04:00.003-04:00

Bored at work again! Have you guys had that new McDonalds Oatmeal? OHMYGOD. It is so fucking delicious. AND you can get it at any time of the day! What??! Yes. I'm lovin' it. Hm... I thought I had something to talk about. I've completely lost my train of thought. I miss all y'all old frinz. Nah but for real I haven't seen you guys in ages. I haven't even seen Boy in a while. Since I cut his awesome new do. Someone needs to cut me an awesome new do. I am stressed. TO THE MAX! But for real I'm stressed. My court date approacheth! Which reminds me. Would any of you frinz know anyone who'd be interested in buying a bad ass mother trucker named Rodney? I need to sell my car. He's the bomb. Not to be confused with "a bomb." I don't want to sell him but I've got to turn my tag in three weeks from now. Ew I have substance abuse today. I hate that shit. I always forget about it and then remember out of nowhere. Bummer. I am going to see GF today! YES! She's the coolest and the cutest. She sends the best texts EVER. Nudes and all. Haha! Nah, but for real. She's the greatest texter. Especially when she's drunk and T9 is being an ass...
In home ml. Sorry aboutu being so punk fastdies. Cannot
text anymoree. Misses you a lot my fear. I loote you'

Isn't that just the sweetest thing you've ever heard? Also, she plays CarnEvil with me when we go to barcade. COOL! I don't know what sort of mood I'm in today that is causing me to get loose with the caps lock button, but I like it. Oh before I go I want to tell you about a movie I saw with Val Kilmer being a hottie-fattie. It's called Felon. I thought it was great. It wasn't too long. Also, I've started watching The Regular Show on Cartoon Network and I've decided that it's pretty funny. The makers of cartoons show no regard for the psychological health of future generations. Just like most other shows on Cartoon Network, there's some fucked up shit going on. Like one episode this giant coffee bean squirted coffee from his nipples into the main characters' mouths. And at one point Mort says something about how he has a weakness for "lady pecs." HA! What?! Yes.

Lady Pecs

where do i begin

2011-04-15T14:25:00.003-04:00

this week was stressful. a million things were due for school and i wasn't prepared to deal with them. i was very behind. i ran into former botany teacher and he wanted to discuss my position as lab technician, which i am fully aware that i have been doing a terrible job at lately. not to mention i was a total dick to him a couple days ago. i want to say i was a "total dick on accident" but i'm not sure that would be the truth. sometimes i am just a dick. it wasn't so much accident as instantly-regrettable mouth vomit. he told me he knew i was worried, and blah blah blah, and said he would gladly write me a letter of recommendation because i had really proven myself to him. i started to cry when he said that. why botany teacher, why? why you be so nice when i be so mean? why do you have to be the one to make me feel validated as a human-being after i so brazenly used you to shame myself? this constant questioning of self is nonsensical, but the point is i cried at school. at college. at community college. haha! true story. i am the most overly emotional boy in the world and life is really hilarious sometimes.

am i going to miss this? all this stuff. this and that that's going on right now, and all the things i find so tedious. did i already miss everything? maybe i have already missed everything or maybe i'm missing it right now. it doesn't matter. like i said, it doesn't even make sense. i decided life would be phenomenally more enjoyable, fulfilling, and simple if i didn't freak out. my problems are trivial and i must remind myself of that. constant emotional awareness is mush easier said than done, but it probably requires practice. i don't want to become a stoic by any means, but slightly more zen. that is not bullshit. can a person meditate their entire life? maybe. in meditation a wandering mind is reminded to regain focus. maybe a scary thought can be dismissed just as easily. i think a thought can be exhaled. i only need to breathe and relax and listen to music.

this is my spring break. i am going to clean and exercise and study a little every day. i need reminders that these things are important. right now i'm listening to rod stewart and he is sounding so nice. he says nice things and his voice is a clear fluid over smooth stones.

boy

Puppy Love

2011-04-01T07:45:00.007-04:00

I have had terrible luck lately. BAD luck. Like, I got a ticket for accidentally running a redlight the other day. Yeah, another traffic violation. Anyway it seriously was an accident. I was behind a student driver transfer truck in a left turn lane. He was the first out of the gate, but he seriously went 5mph and took a huge, wide turn. Then when he crossed the line out of the turn he continued at a 5-10mph pace so although the light was green when I went under it, it had turned red by the time I crossed the line. And I got a ticket. City cops are the biggest douchebags in the world. Anyway, I don't care because I've decided that I'm just going to give up my license completely. No limited priveledge or anything. I won't be able to afford the insurance, assuming that my insurance will keep me, which they probably won't. But that's okay. Also, the saddest thing that has happened to me in a long time happened yesterday. So I've been wanting a dog. Like seriously wanting a dog for the last six months. So I finally call this guy on craigslist about some puppies. We establish a time for me to come pick one up at 7:30pm after my Substance Abuse Counseling. I drive all the way to Statesville which is about 40 miles one way. I pull into a neighborhood that is clearly a project. As soon as I get out, the surrounding neighbors come out of their houses and stare at me. There are men on the street hanging around looking terrifying. Also staring at me. I knock on the door of the house. No one comes. I call the number and the guy comes to the door and looks at me like he might eat me. I say, "I'm here for the dogs?" Then his face changes into a look of embarrassment and he says, "Ooooooh shit. I just gave the lady before you all of them." All of them. What greedy bitch wanted to take all of the puppies? What fucking moron doesn't call someone to tell them not to drive 80 miles to get a dog when there are no dogs left and gas is 3.65 a gallon? This man actually had the nerve to tell me that there was a stray running around which was the father of the puppies and that I could catch it if I wanted. What?! Really?! This man was clearly strung out on drugs. "This hog's strung out on drugs!" I had to add that Squidbillies reference since its on Boy's wall. Anyway what the fuck. So I drove out of the neighborhood as scary men stood on the corner and yelled at me. I then called my girlfriend to tell her what happened, which resulted in hysterical crying and erratic driving. IN THE RAIN. It wasn't even nice weather. Everything about my day was bad. FUCK YESTERDAY. I just really wanted that puppy. It was beautiful. A chow/retriever mix. Fluffy and cuddly and in need of my love and affection. I've given up. I am not meant to have a dog or a license or any of the things the other members of my society enjoy. Well, I do have a really wonderful person who loves me. A lot of people can't say that. I guess that makes me lucky after all.

girl

springy

2011-03-18T17:45:00.002-04:00

the bradford pears bloomed and made the world smell like semen. (for real for real). all the maples are dotted with red berries. spring is a good time. i am ready to go swimming. i have been doing a lot of yoga. i can reach parts of my body that i've never touched before. haha. my teacher asked me if i liked bonobo (the band, not the species of chimp) and i told her yes. Bonobos are the only non-human animal to have been observed engaging in all of the following sexual activities: face-to-face genital sex, tongue kissing, and oral sex. how fun. i got all my legal shit taken care of today. i went to the district attorney's office. he was a very cute district attorney, mostly because he dropped my driving-with-revoked-license charge. that charge was bullshit anyway. i knew i had appeared in court. i found da documents to prove it. i got a real license now. legitimized and validated. the lady at the dmv said it was a good pic. i was like "aw thnx grl, i no." i'm just playin. it's strange how all my licenses and identification cards have looked so drastically different. i recently got in a huge fight with my mom because she didn't want my toothbrush next to hers for fear of catching da faggot AIDS. i threw a jug of water on her and i refuse to apologize. i am over it, but it seems like one of those dramatic milestone life-events that should be documented in blog. i told her that it was her fault i was fucked up. i honestly don't think i'm a particularly fucked-up person, but i knew that it was an appropriately fucked-up thing to say to piss off a mother. am i bad person? probably. probably a good one too. life is not black and white. there a whole bunch of colors. i am looking for more jobs so i can move out. bout damn time. last night when my friend and i were leaving the mellow mushroom we ran out of gas. i was so pissed at first, because i had told him to stop and get gas, and he would not stop dancing. i was all "THIS IS SERIOUS LIFE BUSINESS." no cars would stop to pick us up. it was okay though. i am glad things turned out the way they did. it was a good almost-fun experience. we walked a million hours and bought a gas-can and lo-and-behold, the good lord prevented a towing. broken shit is bothersome, and things fall apart from time-to-time, but it feels really good when you fix them. it's very sunny and i've been sweating and laughing a lot lately.

on the 19th (tomorrow night) there will be a supermoon . SUPERMOON! it's the closest the moon has been to the earth in 18 years. i'm excited to see that.

boy

Werkin' 4 The Weekend

2011-03-18T07:59:00.004-04:00

I have work to do! But I'm not going to do it for a while. Yes, I'm at work. Always at work. I went out with Boy and his boy for St. Patrick's Day last night. I had a beer and a half. I made sure I peed though. As I was telling Boy last night, one of the strange men I hitched a ride with (a month or two ago when I warped the wheel of my car sliding down Old Fort mountain on my way to work at 4:30am) told me about all of his DUI's as we shared a joint in his beat up work truck. One story in particular of a drunken brush with the law caught my attention. He said he was at a party and the cops came and broke it up, telling them they had to leave. But the police had purposefully set up a road block a quarter of a mile down the road from the party. He was asked to blow, of course, along with all the other driver's of the cars leaving the party. He stalled a while by fucking up his breathalizer everytime. Not blowing hard enough and all. Well the police new he was drunk because they saw him at the party, so they said well we are taking you to the station to do it on the machine there. Well on the way he complained about having to pee and asked them to let him. Well they wouldn't, of course. So when he got out of the car, he pissed all over himself. He ended up blowing a .06 due to, what he claims was, allowing his kidneys to filter out much of the alcohol by stalling forever and then relieving himself. I'm not sure if there is any science fact to back this up, but it was good enough for me and from now on I will always pee before I leave the bar. Even if I've only drank water! I mean I never plan to drive drunk again, but just as a safety measure I will urinate. Great story. Also, I've found that I have a weakness for painers. BAD. I am choosing not to take them anymore at all. Not for recreation or legitimate need. Hm, anymore recent developments. Oh yeah, my girlfriend is the GREATEST. Srsly. I'm pretty happy these days, all things considered. Especially considering I lose my license on May 9th. Wah. Oh well! I'll probably buy a scooter, haha. I'll be so cool. Also, I love the people that come to substance abuse group. They are all really funny and trashy and old. I like them. I mean I don't want to hang out with them anywhere other than group. God knows I don't need any other bad habits. But they are fun once a week. The girl I work with and I just established that we will go out for 35oz Dosequis and chips and salsa if we get off early today. FUN. Also, she's a mom, which makes it even cooler. Haha. All moms should spend their early Fridays drinking beer and eating Mexican food. Okay, I'm going now.

girl

i bs so hard i solve problems

2011-02-28T16:20:00.003-05:00

dear blog,
i feel like i'm gonna throw up. i need to call my lawyer and tell his sexy receptionist all about my problems. i needed to beat all this shit into my keyboard so i wouldn't actually do that. and burst into tears while talking to sexy receptionist. i would hate to do that. she wears these really high black boots and fitted dresses and i wouldn't be surprised if she was a phone-sex operator on the side. i got a ticket yesterday. two of them. one for not wearing a seatbelt. the second for driving on a revoked license. revoked because i failed to appear in court last march. what?!??! how did this happen. i thought i had a limited driver's license for a year but apparently i am a fuckup, and a retard, and a bad american who doesn't deserve to operate a motor vehicle under any circumstance ever. who's driving this thing? who has the keys? i sure as hell don't. i want to run run run away until my heart explodes but i am not going to do that. i have a better plan. i want to move somewhere where i dont have to drive. real talk. one day. when i am older and wiser and better at saving money and working hard and caring. maybe i should move to an island with monkeys? idk. i sunburn easily. iceland. are there cars in iceland? i could just drive a snowmobile to work and buy fish at the market. jk. these are all iceland jokes. saturday was my birthday. i got real drunk and chopped all my hair off and looked like a lesbian puppy dog, but then i went to girl's house sunday and got her to fix it. it is very asymmetrical and awesome and i love it. i forgot that i am different. i went to school and all i could do was be entertained. the realization that "haha, oh yeah. you guys care how i look." is that weird? does that mean i am desperate for attention and slightly unaware? i dont know. maybe i really did forget that normal boys do not have a cascading waterfall of extended hitler youth mop top hair. but whatever, because i had a pretty good day regardless. british lit instructor canceled class because he was hot, "like sick hot." dude. me too. my blood pressure is off da charts. but i have been drinking gallons of water. i asked him if he wanted me to get him some water, and he told me that he was going to go back home and start his day over. this man is so much like me i find it bizarre. that is exactly what i would do, and have done, and want to do most days. just say "eff this day" and not drink water like i'm supposed to, or give a fuck about the anglo saxons. i know that british lit teacher likes beer. i was surprised by my understanding of riddles at 9 o clock in the morning. we were reading these riddles and one of them was totally about beer, and it was the one he said was his favorite. haha. what a funny man. so i was driving to school this morning. i am going to talk about that because i am all over the place and that's what makes me a terrible driver. i have this hair and i am driving to school illegally because my education is more important than the goddamn guv-ment and i'm wearing these clear green sunglasses that my friend bought me for my birthday a couple years ago and i tell myself that i am from the future and that is why i am a freak and i am going to help that drunk man feel better about his life.

also. lady gaga. blah blah blah.

just kidding about the blah blah blah. i mean that in an endearing way. i just dont feel like pretending like this is important, but it is entertaining. take note of the shoulder pads as an extension of shoulder and not the clothes. genius 80s shit. 2011 shit. i mean maybe it's important. i dont know. i watched this video at school today when i should have been researching universal health care, but lady gaga seems like a much more relevant social concept (maybe, ya know?) i think i watch too many music videos. or maybe the exact right amount. i think everyone needs to watch more music videos. learn a thing or two from this retarded bitch who pretends to know what she's talking about. everyone is boring and afraid of asymmetrical hair. it's gonna storm real good today. i can hear it starting and life is a pretty good music video.

boy

Ten Gallon Blog

2011-02-21T10:00:00.004-05:00

Darlings! Long time, no blog. How are you?! Fantastic I hope. I figured I would give an update on my life. Hm. DUI. Well I somehow managed to get the minimum amount of hours for the AA classes. Twenty hours, and a modest total of 400 bucks. I was also given a copy of my driving record. LOL. No it's not funny. I have three speeding tickets where I exceeded the limit by over 20 mph as well as a few minor ones. I've been in two (reported) accidents and totalled three cars. I'm an efficient wrecking ball. I've had a couple seat belt tickets and we can't forget my most recent violation, a DUI. Anyway, whatever. Hindsight is almost always 20/20. At least I have never used a motor vehicle as a weapon or anything like that. And when April rolls around I won't have too much of an opportunity to do that for a year or so. Thank the lord. I am also planning a new adventure. Oh you guys are going love this one. As you have probably already figured out, the Navy has yet to call me. I'm not the only one either. But that makes perfect sense considering the cuts that are threatening military spending. I'm not saying that I disagree with austerity in the least. Anyway, so I've had to find a new destination. A destination with low unemployment, rising housing prices, low cost of living, and a quality urban environment. I'll give you three guesses... Give up? TEXAS. HA! This time I will be venturing to a place where I know no one. A place that is not particularly cool with my lifestyle choices. But, even so, a place where I have a real shot at creating a positive foundation for the rest of my 20's. I will not be setting forth alone this time and I have already told my parents of my plan to move and they are supportive! I have decided to go about it in a more responsible way. Avoiding accountability was necessary the first time, but this time I have a bit of wisdom under my belt and I intend to put it to good use. Gaining the moral support of my familiy is crucial in that it allows me to openly prepare for the move. Sneaking is stressful and inconvenient! I have done extensive research on the city that I have chosen. As I mentioned before, I've taken into account everything from employment rates to major economic indicators (housing prices) to utility costs and gas prices. I've also examined the industry of the area and it is largely relevant to my experience and work history. I am on a strict financial diet that should let me squeeze out a lot of extra income to add to my Detailed Texas Budget. Yes, that is the title of a spreadsheet I've put together. I'm also attempting to find secondary employment to cushion the savings account I've designated for the big show. YAY! So exciting. Rodney, my '97 Izusu Rodeo, will fit in wonderfully in the southwestern ambiance. I forgot to tell you that I got another car after totalling Laverne. Unimportant! Anyway, I will with hold the greater details, such as time, specific place, and the other member of the moving party, in order to have material for later entries. My life is so boring. You have no idea. Anyway I'm at work right now. There is nothing to do. But blog. Blog my happy little heart out. I should probably get back to pretending to have shit to do. Take care, sweethearts!

gal (texan for girl/imsofunny)

idk what to call this

2011-02-20T00:20:00.002-05:00

today was a good day. i saw the new britney spears video. i had to pause it when i first watched it. i was watching way too hard and felt like i could have had a seizure. it made me wonder if britney spears had been bodysnatched. it made me worry that i had been too. it made me think about mistletoe, which is actually a parasitic plant. it doesn't have roots of it own and people think it's only about kissing.

today i learned that i am pretty good at pruning trees. i think. i have never done it before and never gave that amount of focus to that particular shape. the hardest part was holding the tool above my head for hours. i think in order to survive you have to realize a strength you never knew existed.

nights are very different from days. i got really sunburned. i lost my ID card somewhere.

i dont know why there are two songs on this youtube video. i don't like that the mood can change on it's own accord without asking me first. i guess i can tolerate it.

i wonder if i am good at cutting hair.

boy

flannery o'conners

2011-02-16T18:46:00.005-05:00

i never saw tron, but i downloaded the soundtrack because it was by daft punk. this song is incredibly un-daft-punky but it is very orchestrated and climactic. i bet it plays during a very intense and pivotal scene. you'll have to excuse the quality because i'm linking to a youtube video. you may not be able to hear a lack of quality, but i can, because i've been spoiled by what is good. grooveshark.com is a great musical resource. i know it is only a matter of time until users are forced to pay for the services, because these services are too good to be true. i don't know if it is compatible with smartphones because i honestly don't know jack squat about technology. i just find it very alluring and expensive, much like a religion. speaking of which, i have a small anecdote to tell. at my school there are no prerequisites for sociology courses, which means that i could skip all the basic bullshit and get to the fun stuff. there are only nine people in my class and i really like that atmosphere. it creates a safe environment for expression, and i get the opportunity to learn a lot about individuals that i would probably never care about. my instructor is also a very cool person. her teaching style is very relaxed and engaging. she also happens to be my dance instructor and she is amazing on her toes. (i am taking dance class and yoga again this semester because i stopped going last semester. ha.) she told the dance class on the first day that dancing was the most important thing in her life and that she wanted to teach it solely, but the school wouldn't allow that. that is an interesting thing, but the point of all this is that we're all going to turn into robots.

lately in sociology we've discussed how age and "old people" are treated in our society. we were talking about the abuse in nursing homes and i convinced my classmates that the mistreatment of elders would one-day be eliminated by robots. at first a couple people laughed, but i think it's totally real. no one wants to take care of old people because they are viewed as deficient and helpless, and i think technology will advance to a point until we are entirely dependent on machines rather than fellow humans. the personalism will be lost for a period, at least until the machines take control, or everything is lost by nasty viral warfare. earlier today i read an article predicting the future and it sounds completely ridiculous and slightly believable. i think it may have only been written for people my age who are on the internet too much. if these things did realize it would mean that by the time we're old, oldness could be a problem of the past. we may be completely obsolete. the last old people ever; the last old people on earth. when i am nearing the end of my life i might have the choice between dying peacefully and attempting to fight death forever. i don't know how living forever could possibly be a good thing, but i don't know because i've never done it. forever is a long time to wait around for a software malfunction.

the topic of old people initially sounded really boring for a classroom setting, but that is probably because i had never given old people enough thought. that's a perfect example of the problem: old people suck => i dont care about old people because they suck => i dont care about old people => old people suck. (lol logic.) this class has seriously made me see the world in a slightly different way. when i heard that sex and drugs were topics for intro sociology classes i was disappointed, but i guess that stuff is child's play. we've been talking about things that sound boring but are actually topics i've avoided. ok. that's the end of my small anecdote. new story.

my chemistry lab partner is good and cool. i don't know if i already mentioned her or not, but she is very asian. i don't mean that in a racist way, it is just evident that she has not had many interactions with people of other ethnicities. maybe i haven't either since her differences are so apparent to me, and i feel the need to comment on them, but that's beside the point. she is bad at grammar but good at math. she told me that she was not good at math because she was struggling in calculus 3. i informed her that her logic was ridiculous. she told me that a gay asian (THE gay asian, as i like to call him) said i was gay, so she wanted to know if it was true. she added that she meant no offense by it. i am glad i no longer find that sort of question offensive. i am now slightly offended that straight people think asking about sexual orientation is offensive. i'm not serious. nobody knows how to talk good. (one thing i did recently find offensive was that this older lady said i looked like carrot to, and i was all like, "bitch plz, u look like oprah in the color purple." that is a racist joke.) anyway, CLB (Chem Lab Partner) said that she has always wanted a gay best friend. she told me that her sister's best friend (who was also asian) turned out to be gay, that it made her sister uncomfortable, and she eventually stopped being friends with him. CLB thought this was unfortunate because he was always funny and fashionable. her eagerness to typecast made me slightly uncomfortable but i knew it was coming from a good place. it's funny how a compliment can get so lost in translation. CLB has a certain air about her that is assertive but reserved and friendly. at the beginning of the semester, when our instructor was calling role, she said, "HEAR!" in an incredibly fluid and assured tone. i asked her if she sang and when she said no, i tried to explain that her announcement of presence was very musical (sing-songy). i could tell that she didn't fully understand what i meant. i mean, maybe she did understand and maybe i'm just racist. i don't know, i'm just telling my side of things.

so here we are, present day. enough background. i went to school this morning at least an hour early. i was delirious and tired and thought that my british lit class started at 8 instead of 9, so i stumbly sauntered to the computer lab to work on some introductory psych homework. (a psych class is needed to "graduate" but is actually just a bunch of incoherent bullshit about how your eyes and ears work.) when i finally got to class i was much earlier than usual, and i saw in the reflection of a television screen that my CLB was coming to sit beside me instead of her asian (drug-dealer) associate. she told me that she got in a fight with her boyfriend, told him that she wanted to break up with him, but was very uncertain about whether or not she meant it. she disconnected his cell phone service while under the influence of emotion, and she told me that she got a lot of homework done while not speaking to him. she also told me that she was still waiting for him to apologize, but of course, he couldn't do that because she had disconnected his cellphone. i really like her way of thinking. she said that she didn't know if her bf really wanted to break up with her either, but he asked, "something something...well, why are we still together?" apparently that is all she heard. he asked because she was complaining about the nature of their relationship. she was complaining because she felt like he was being mean to her and not showing her enough respect. then her eyes got really heavy with thought and eyeliner, she looked away from me and said, "i feel a little sad, but i don't know what to do about it." i could see her fish brains swimming.

by this this point in class our instructor had finished calling role and was dismissing class. most days he takes attendance and tells us that he cannot stay. he is usually not feeling well, not prepared, or has a doctor's appointment for either himself or his mother. of course i think his excuses are legitimate, but i'm not always convinced that his absence is necessarily due to his reason. he had cancer in his face, or throat, or something. i don't remember what he told us, but i know that he is in very poor health. he is tall and unnaturally thin. his head is very small and has a slightly feminine shape. all these things are due to the radiation treatments. sometimes he has to stop talking in the middle of class because his jaws are cramping and he has lost the ability to salivate. he is very smart and funny, but i think he is probably very sad when he isn't on stage. i think he likes me though. i try to exude positive vibes in his direction. i make lots of eye contact and listen intently when he stumbles around in allegories. i've got a lot left to learn and i have some pretty cool teachers.

boy

a mood

2011-02-06T19:24:00.002-05:00

today was a pretty good day. i sat on the floor all day, and then i took a break from all that sitting and lied on the floor for a while, at least until i was ready to sit some more. i stared at the ceiling and listened to music. it was a lot better than it sounds. you just had to be there.

i read a lot of science articles online about how some of the first stars from the beginning of the universe may still be burning brightly, and that cannibinoids cure migraines. i read about avoiding hangovers and why girls get so nervous when you look at them. i read your appreciation for a movie is mostly dependent on who's sitting next to you at the time, and what the weather is like on mars. i read that for the first time in human history we're able to see the entire sun at once, thanks to the satellites we've sent out. i read about how we're getting even closer and closer to seeing the supermassive black hole at the center of our galaxy. i think i may have already known all these things before i read them. i definitely wasn't surprised.

i fed my cat a little too much chicken and she threw up on my jacket. i should have known better than giving her all that food at once but she kept asking for it so i shared. i have felt the urge to create something lately but i dont know what to do about it. i've been burning a lot of candles and playing with the wax. burning a million candles all over the room. it's probably a fire hazard but the gentle and undulating glow is definitely worth it.

boy

drink moxie, attain swagger

2011-02-05T17:59:00.009-05:00

"My name is Molly Singer and there is no one in the world better than me."

i want to watch corrina corrina. one of my fav movies. you already knew that though because i've wrote that here before.

i could post about a million more nicki minaj songs but i'll spare you. i like them all. she is so uplifting. better than jesus! she helps you out. feel good about yourself. it's easy.

i was thinking about the word "moxie" and how it is a great word. anything with "x" is cool. i also learned the term "ipse dixit" today, but that's not what this blog is about. it's about moxie. i discovered that moxie is also a carbonated beverage with great advertising. i read the wikipedia page.

boy

good morning everybody

2011-01-30T23:09:00.002-05:00

a really kind friend sent me this. i think it is worth sharing. my brother just heard/saw it and asked, "are they like a family?"

EDIT: the following convo is in reference to the previous post because more than one person asked.

friend: whats a dimin line?
boy: its a reference to this interview with lindsay lohan on the red carpet where she is fucked up out of her mind. the lady is like, "you look thin." and lindsay is like, "it's probably stress." and then the interviewer says something about her necklace being a pretty stone and lindsay picks it up to show the camera and says "it's actually a dimin. i've been workin on a dimin line."
boy: it's very funny and sad and poignant
friend: wow
friend: my mom wanted to know
boy: lol

jeez u guys keep up.

boy

my dimin line

2011-01-28T13:00:00.003-05:00

boy: i want to change my default pic to an empty birdcage but i am going to let that urge pass because i need to work on maintaining a healthy level of public self-expression. lawl.
girl: hahaha. empty bird cages are within the healthy range i think. perhaps on the lower end, but still healthy.
boy: i think i'm gonna try a new diet where i refuse to use chairs. i will be very grounded. i need to apply for food stamps but i dont want to print this form because its SIXTEEN pages long
boy: i found this mentholated aloe gel and it feels really good to rub on my face, especially when my face is hot
boy: i feel so good and happy and pretty and free and that is why i wanted to be an empty birdcage.

boy

not my personal life

2011-01-27T22:31:00.004-05:00

i'm drunk right now. first time in a long time. i'm about to post a good song and a convo. i wish i had some protein. like fish. or meat.

Me: it was the first neko case song that i ever heard
Frind: o really?
Frind: where did you hear it?
Me: i think alwaysontherun.net
Me: it's a website of lyrics
Me: but really obscure shit
Me: some of it anyway
Me: obscure shit to me at the time
Me: when i wanted to be hip and indie
Frind: not napster?
Me: i never used napster
Me: i used bearshare though
Frind: ahhhh
Frind: well you are indie and hip my friend
Frind: so something must have worked
Me: i am not indie or hip
Me: those are dirty words
Frind: haha sorry
Frind: I never know, being that I am not indie or hip
Me: its okay. i'm only playing.
Me: they aren't real
Me: it's like "emo"
Me: wtf is that shit?
Frind: emo's got a bunch of chicks that I think are super attractive
Me: well, i gotta say
Me: scene bitches do have some really cool hair
Me: and everyone knows that "emo" just means you're too poor to be scene.
Frind: haha
Frind: I love scene girls too
Frind: and goths. pretty much any chick who looks interesting
Me: i haven't seen a hot goth in a while
Me: there are only fat chicks and fat fags left in the goth
Me: really pasty and hairy
Me: flabby bodies
Me: sayin shit like "squee!"
Me: or something
Me: i dont even know

ok. that's it. i'm not gonna tell you about my personal life. that's personal. i never talk about my personal life. i'm working on a dimin line.

BOY

Country Rose

2011-01-19T22:53:00.000-05:00

boy: panic in the industry
girl: panic in the streets of london
girl: you quoted britney and i quoted the smiths
boy: nigga we gay

girl

Y

2011-01-09T19:57:00.004-05:00

DUI's suck. I mean for real. Also, most of the people I know have or have had a DUI. That is not comforting in anyway, but an interesting fact in relation to my life. The DUI is going cost me somewhere near 2200, and probably another 800 in extra indirectly related things. So around three grand. That's not too bad I guess. It's just going to break me. But that's okay. I just want this to be finished so I can move on with life. I have made no music. I have made nothing but money that I have been forced to give away to the government. It is tax time though, that is a good thing. I watched Black Swan yesterday! I had a dinner and movie date. It was great. The movie and the date. I am doing well otherwise. I know you didn't ask that. Ha! I haven't been listening to music lately. I am moving in about two and a half months! That is going to be fun! My parents hate me. So do my grandparents. Haha. They will be even more angry when they hear that I am moving. Jerks. Haha. I am surprisingly unaffected. Hm. I haven't drank more than three beers in one sitting in three weeks. The longer I go without it, the less I desire it. I'm alright with that. I am trying to find a second job. After my court date I will start trying to find jobs in Asheville before I move. And Asheville is only temporary. I have a secret plan. Another plan that will not be disclosed on this blog until days before its execution. Which means months, years or never. But whatever. Ha! My sister got an Xbox 360 for Christmas and my dad has been trying to play Modern Warfare, but he is soooooo bad. He can barely make the character walk. My sister has been coaching him. I witnessed this exchange of words...

Dad: "How do I change guns? I want to change guns."

Sister: "Y."

Dad: "BECAUSE I WANT TO CHANGE GUNS!!!!"

Whatever. I laughed.

girl

eat my cookies bitch

2010-12-25T15:58:00.008-05:00

girl already did a christmas blog. no fair!!! but yay christmas and snow and everyone huddling cozily around their computers.

this has nothing to do with christmas. i have taken it upon myself to see and hear everything bjork has ever done in her entire life. i really just like listening to her yell. christmas vacation! no school. too much food. i made cookie dough. i haven't made the cookies yet. they might be fucked up. i dont know what i'm doing but i gotta let this chill a minute. if they are not disgusting i will tell my friend to come over and eat them. the friend i told never to talk to me again. haha. tis the season. to not be a dick.

this is christmas! new mariah carey christmas. santa's gonna come and make ya mine ho ho ho. oh mariah. you vixen.

frin: i really want christmas food
frin: i really should have planned this better
boy: i'm eating carrots dipped in guacamole and salsa
boy: christmas!
frin: Christmas!
frin: motherfucker died three days and then rose again!
boy: whaaaaaaaaaaaaa
frin: o wait
frin: thats easter

boy

SNOW

2010-12-25T11:47:00.004-05:00

Merry Christmas, baby dolls! It's a white Christmas here! It hasn't snowed on Christmas in ages around this boring town. I got a $150 set of anti aging products. Santa came through. Kenny Rogers is a hot old plastic surgery guy. I only mention him because I was watching parts of the Kenny and Dolly Christmas special from 1984. It's freakin' GOOD.

My sister and I watched this last night. We watch it every Christmas. It's seriously one of the greatest Christmas/Snow White remakes ever. LOVE. It's on CMT tonight if you care to try it out.

girl

Dark Side

2010-12-19T16:11:00.005-05:00

Well, Blog. I went to jail last night. I got a DUI. It's not a good story. It is neither exciting or unexpected. I sobbed like a small child. I blew a .17. That is a whole lot, as I'm sure you know. I wasn't blacked out or anything. Just very drunk. I deserved to get pulled and I'm glad I did. There is no way I would have made it home otherwise. I am very ashamed. This has ruined a lot of things. Hopefully it won't destroy my relationship. I guess I forgot to tell you all that I'm dating someone. I'll tell you more on that subject a little later. When things don't seem so dismal. I don't think I will be drinking again for a long time. And I can say with absolute certainty that I won't be drinking and driving anymore. Or driving at all for that matter. Ha! I guess this is the the darker, less enjoyable side of being a Goonie.

girl

lights camera action

2010-12-12T03:33:00.003-05:00

holy shit blog. i just had a bizarre 15-minute chunk of life. i was bored and trying to get sleepy but all i could think about was my wallet and how i was uncertain of it's location. these are the sorts of things that keep me up at night. "where is my love? where the fuck is my money? i am bored. i want to eat a buncha carbs. maybe if i masturbate i will get sleepy. i have homework to do. how can these bitches be on tv?" well anyway. i found my wallet in my car after braving the blistering cold. i looked inside and found three dollars. hark! a christmas miracle. 3 more dollars than i thought i had. i decided i could drive to the only 24-hour grocery store i knew of in the county. it was 1:50! i had 10 minutes. i had to run back inside and change out of the sweatpants and oversized hoodie. i can't be looking like a crazy person if i want to buy beer at 2 am. 2 am is the cutoff. so i do this. i maintain a healthy speed of 5mph over the speed limit, at least until i see these strange lights that may be headlines or may be lights along someone's driveway. they look very odd and i had to slow down significantly to assess their safet. flo rida tells me how the club caint even handle him right now. i know, flo rida. we outta control. i get there. the only girl in the bi-lo says, "if you're buying beer you better hurry." i respond with, "i know, and i am." i get 2 40s and it's exactly 3 dollars. she remarks on how odd that is, without even knowing that its all the cash i have. i reminded her that 3 was a magic number. i leave bi-lo feeling high on success, when my brother texts me, "your hood is up, put it down. you're going to die." or something along those lines. something about my car and my imminent doom. so i'm driving home, probably speeding, due to the exhileration of having purpose at 2-am. i encounter the car that's pulled off the side of the road again, but this time there's another car on the other side, facing the opposite direction. i think it is probably a cop. i get closer, i'm still going fast. i see that it is not a cop and it starts pulling away. SUDDENLY! the woman runs out into the middle of the road to stop the leaving car. i almost killed her! i slammed on the breaks. she moves in slow motion with flailing limbs, bent knees and a floppy body. she is in disarray, and clearly fucked up out of her mind on substances or fear. it was so strange. all these random occurences exploded in my memory. the last 15 minutes: realizing it's almost 2, finding 3 dollars, exact change for 40s, 5mph over the speed limit, almost smashing into a bitch. i could have killed her. seriously. it freaked me out. i was exactly on time. i could have killed her and not only been caught slaughtering crackheads but also driving without a license with two king cobras in my car. i narrowly escaped an awful future.

i haven't wrote anything here in a while. i need you to sample these musics so you can know where i am.

lindsey brought this to my attention. it is such a good song. it is on some commercial and every time i hear the commercial i think of Girl and this song and how awesome they are. and i think about my life and chasing tracks. i looked into this laura veirs chick a little and she has an amazing song called "drink deep." it is not necessarily an amazing song to the ears but it has fantastic lyrics. you'll have to look those up for yourself though because i aint your internet bitch. do your own research.

i also really like this song right now. i think this is exactly what would be playing in my spaceship as i accelerate towards the future. onward and upward, to infinity and beyond. i have been thinking about a lot of silly metaphors lately, like being lost in space and running marathons to escape heart attacks. i do not care to explain. even though i haven't been blogging very much i've been trying to write thoughts. i think it's important. it's important to me. i need a good book. and a boyfriend. and future. and some christmas presence.

kbye. BOYZZZ

O GOD

2010-12-10T18:11:00.006-05:00

Well it has been a while since either of us have posted. But I deleted my secret blog so I'll probably be here a lil' more. Anyway, shit's been goin' down, y'all. Not really. I totaled my car!!! I ran a red light and crashed into some girl in a Lexus. Boy was she pissed. Nah, she wasn't. She was cool. Her mom was extra cool. I guess she saw that I was about to vomit. No one got hurt. I am in the process of purchasing another car. Instead of a spaceship I have opted to downgrade to a trash can with wheels. Why? I'll tell you why. I can pay cash for it and not be in debt. I figured it up and I'd save about 4000 a year without a car payment. So fuck financing. Anyway that's something. Um. Oh I threw up again. The other night I met my old neighbor and his girlfriend at a bar that I've never been to and they bought me shots one right off the other. Then I drank this sickening cider whiskey drink. It was awful. It tasted like hot, Christmasy death. God. I wasn't even very drunk. I just walked outside when we got home and sat on the stairs and stuck my finger down my throat. It was very orderly and professional. I don't ever want warm liquor again. Ever. Hm. Nothing else has happened. I am bored usually. Boring always. I haven't made any music or beaten any video games or even stayed up past 8:30pm on a weeknight. Things are getting seriously out of hand. But I love work and it's totally worth my this cloud of dullness that has settled over my life. LOL. But by my calculations I should be California bound in a year or so. YAY! Everything is fun. The Navy still hasn't called. I hate them. They will call me at some inconvenient time, I'm sure. Oh! My sister cut my hair today and now I look like Luke Skywalker. I'm thinking about just wearing my Obi Wan Halloween costume from a few years ago and carrying around a lightsaber. I don't think it would be inappropriate. Anyway, yeah. That's all I got.

Pans

2010-11-20T17:55:00.003-05:00

I saw Iron & Wine ANNNNDDDD Joanna Newsom!!! I wasn't planning on seeing Joanna, but sometimes the universe rewards those who are good and decent. I would have to say that the Joanna Newsom show was better than the Iron & Wine one. First of all, it wasn't sold out, so there was a little bit of room to breathe. Second, she didn't fuck up the words to her songs. Not that I think it's bad to fuck up words necessarily. I mean I feel privileged to have seen Sam Beam fuck up his words. That is awesome. Only seeing Cat Power fuck up words would make me happier. But you know how I think the sun rises and sets in her. Joanna was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. The music was completely flawless and I was filled with unimaginable joy. It made me very happy. Usually I go to shows and I am happy because I am having fun. But this time I was happy because her sweet melodies flooded my soul and captured my heart. Lol, but for real it was great. There were much better people at that show too. A lot of funny gays. Y'all know how I love them funny gays. Oh my god. Jamie just showed me a video taken at the Redbone Willies bluegrass fest we went to. It is all three of the HungrySisters dancing in broad daylight, clearly some level of drunk, having a damn good time. I immediately exploded with laughter. I mean the quality of the video is perfect and it's not like the cameraman just happened to get them in the video while he was taping the performers. He pans across the crowd to their spot on the sidelines and zooms the fuck in. I would post it but I'm way too lazy for that. Last night was another black out drunk night. Hell, what night isn't these days?! Success. This week has been a great success. I am excited to be alive. I will probably party with Boy and his friend tonight. As well as my sister. Maybe at some point Boy and I can collect ourselves and write one of those uncommon drunk posts. It's high time. Anyway BYE!

girl

This Is A Light-Hearted Entry About Global Economic Affairs

2010-11-14T10:02:00.007-05:00

Proceed with caution.

Iron & Wine is tomorrow! That is going to be so fun. I've had a very good morning so far. For whatever reason my attention to the global economic system has increased dramatically over the past five months. Before that point I've been more interested in national affairs or international affairs that relate directly to the US. Because I live here and I want to know exactly how bleak my future is. Lol jk jk. But yeah I only payed attention to the motherland. But as I said, in recent months there has been an enthralling soap opera of international affairs that I have found entirely irresistible. I get excited and indignant and humored all at once. Seriously though. Look at the Eurozone! HA! No it isn't funny at all. They are nearly in shambles. But the dynamic between the countries, (between Germany and everyone else), is so entertaining. Poor Greece. Poor Ireland. Poor Britain! And not just the interactions, but the situations themselves. The situations are not so much entertaining as they are exciting and intriguing. For example the austerity measures that are being employed by the British are the opposite of America's approach. I really, really hope they work too. I hope they take the G right out of Keynes' E. Haha, not really that was a poorly executed joke. Keynes revolutionized the world. But I hope that reducing government spending proves to create a wider gap between potential growth and (hopefully) above potential growth than what our spending has created and in the same amount of time. Though I do realize that everyone's circumstances are different and therefore require different policy measures. That's what makes it so hard to get the system synchronized. I think we definitely should reform tax laws in America. Broader base! Lower rates! And they don't have to be much lower. The tax burden on citizens of any nation can have a definite effect on spending and investment, but a tax burden is always necessary and inevitable in any model. I am preaching to the choir now, huh? We will just have to suck it up. And perhaps if the rates are lowered, there can be some accommodation for the broader base. It wouldn't be much, if any, but psychology has some role in all that. So does delivery. I am just thinking aloud at this point, haha! Anyway I hope that the British experiment will prove our Mr. President wrong. Not because I dislike him necessarily, but because I disagree with his economic positions. I know, I am too hard on him. But I have talked before about the "mistake" in the multiplier and how I feel that it was used to justify the increase in the G instead of a decrease in the T. But that is all water under our rickety, neglected bridge. Anyway I also love hearing about Germany. They are an amazing nation of financiers. Haha! Nah, but they have some interesting policy choices and they are so dignified about their position. They are the unspoken boss of the Eurozone and are taking their responsibility very seriously. Don't get me wrong, there is no mother-child relationship here. They are all about taking care of Germany first and foremost, but they are sort of overseeing and "directing" with an entertaining voice the troubled peripheral nations'. I find so much value in those interactions. And economists have so many funny things to say about the matter. And you know that every economist is a comedian at heart. I don't know. I just like watching and learning and understanding and dreaming about all these things. I sometimes think about how I went to college to study the art of fortune telling. In a lot of cases our future depends on our predictions of the future!

My opinions on these matters are not set in stone. I am constantly reshaping my view on QE2. That is something I won't get into because I can never get past qualifying the argument, but I think the Fed is doing all the Fed can do and that is all we can ask for. If this entry elicits any response about macroeconomics I will welcome them because it has always been that I've had no friends who care about economics, save Alex. Even when I was in college. I HAVE NO FRIENDS. Haha, that's what I just saw when I read that sentence over. Lol.

gurl

Abandon The Self!

2010-11-13T14:56:00.004-05:00

Girl: im going to tell Boy about your genius blog idea
Friend A: i already told him
Friend A: me and Boy talk every day
Friend A: and we're gonna get married
Friend A: and be downers together
Friend A: occassionally we'll tag team a really fat girl
Girl: mm
Girl: nuff to go round
Friend A: and smoosh cake on her tits

I think that is a good opener. For a blog about nothing. I have been doing what Goonies do. Getting drunk often. I had to chill out though, because last weekend I had ran up a 125 dollar tab. I had a lot of liquor. Last night was enjoyable. I got to watch Bad Girls Club with Jamie (of the HungrySisters) and drink Busch Lite, just like old times. It was nice to get to watch a few episodes with an original member. Especially the current season. It is retarded and hilarious. More so than the previous seasons, which are all fucking funny as shit. Oh my god, my head hurts. I don't know why. I'm not hung over. I didn't drink too much. Really. I am trying to read a book called The Life of Pi. I am probably the only person who has never read it or something. I never know what books I should know about. It is proving to be a slightly difficult task. My attention span is not deep or wide enough to handle this book. I mean it's not hard to read. I am just having a hard time caring. God knows I'm trying. It's not bad or anything. It is pretty good. It's just that in order for me to be enthusiastic about reading, there has to be sex or monetary policy somewhere in there. Or both. If only... I have been hanging out with a new friend lately. Pretty cool friend. A true Goonie. She drinks like a fish. Also Boy has introduced me to a new human. He wears a wide array of hats and enjoys social mind games. He's also good people. I have been having a lot of new interactions. Boy and I met a retired NASCAR driver who now owns an eco friendly sports clothing store called Dirtball. Dirtball! Haha. Anyway that's what is up. I guess I will go back out to the bar tonight. This time in good ol' Hicktown. Anyway yeah. Whatever, bye.

girl

The Things We Do

2010-11-01T22:02:00.004-04:00

girl: what did you do last night?!
biz: i went on home... at the time i forgot i had homework i had to do for today
biz: i was drunk for like 30 minutes
biz: at like 6
girl: good lord.

Blog. B and I had a great weekend. It was full of many funny moments. Like when we met Snooki at Scully's. She was a lot of fun to chat with. Scream back and forth with. We went to Walmart and shopped around for a cute sweater for B. It was navy and fitted and had a good neckline. Oh apparently I got out of hand. I could tell that I might be on the verge of hitting a rage, but I was not too concerned because I felt like my energy was a positive influence on the rest of the group. That's right. Positive. Disillusioned drunk bitch. But after the last glass of Grey Goose I blacked the fuck out again. Again! Good lord. Anyway I was told that I went up to the bedroom to sleep, but thought I was in a bar instead. I shouted, "WHAT IS THIS BAR?! THIS BAR SUCKS!" Or something along those lines. I don't really know. I also talked about a girl sitting in the corner of the room. There was no girl in the corner of this bedroom. I was one of two people in the room. The lights were out. No wonder I thought it was such a bad bar! Then I yelled at my friend for no reason at all. A lot of offensive things. I guess because she took me to that awful bar. But to be honest I really did see a brown haired girl crouched over on a stool with a beer in her hand. She was staring at us. That is the only part I remember. Biz suggested that I may have been asleep. Like black out drunk dreaming. I think that is the only logical explanation. That is an absolutely perfect explanation, actually. And it lowers my accountability even more. And I need that. Because I can't be held responsible for things I say or do while I am completely blacked out and dreaming at the same damn time. Boy and I have plans for our lives. We have plans, blog. They are not real plans. But they are goals. My plan is to become rich and drunk and vulgah! Not really. At all. My real plan is to regularly use the word 'darling' so that it becomes second nature. And then arrange it in sentences with the word 'vulgah' which I already use quite often. I'm sure the only configuration I will come up with is the one I stole from Factory Girl. I am going to see Iron & Wine in two weeks! I am sooooo stoked. I'll let you know how that goes.

grlfrn

neurological explosions.

2010-10-22T11:42:00.001-04:00

the girl i tutor said i seemed nervous today. i wasn't nervous exactly but i have been in a mood. a stressed mood. i got a note from someone in the office that someone else wants to be tooted. she gave me his name and a phone number, but i dont know the number belongs to the student or the employee. i sent the boy a facebook message. i am not allowed to see his photos and this bothers me. i couldnt assess what kind of person he was before i sent the message. i would really like to sleep. or have fun. if i go home right now i will not get anything done. maybe i should sleep in my car. i went to the prettiest boy in the world's house last night. i am not going to call him the prettiest boy in the world any longer, but i also dont want to call him by name. i dont know what to call him. he is bewildering. i ran into him in the computer lab and he distracted me from my calculus. he was very animated and full of energy and entertaining. he required very little personal space and sometimes burst into laughter. he said that he wants to make a webshow and that i should follow him around and be his scribe. i told him he was desperate for attention. he is a really ridiculous boy and says anything that comes into his head. he said he wants to change the world and teach people to love one another. he talked for a long time about nothing and all the properties of nothing. he is going to be a good person to talk to sometimes. we drank hot apple cider and bourbon. it was kinda disgusting but still enjoyable. some dude said "good morning" to me this morning and now he is looking at me in this computer lab. i am looking at him because he is wearing his coat's hood but not his coat - it is draped behind him. he is wearing his coat as a head-cape. i dont know how old he is but he must be nearly 30. i have a feeling he might be an interesting person to talk to also. and this boy i see in bio while i am working. he said hello to me today. he looks like the lead singer of the band that sang "i believe in a thing called love" except younger. i cant even remember that band's name. well anyway, i saw that boy wearing jeans one day with a big hole on the side and i dont think he was wearing underwear. it was a very deliberate hole. i liked it.

Kept On Drinking

2010-10-20T21:36:00.003-04:00

biz: we got drunk and did homework
girl: ha!!!
biz: haha yeah
girl: that is awesome
biz: well we had a group meeting
biz: and took my computer to the brew and view
girl: HAHAHA
girl: that made me lol
biz: and after the boy in our group left we stayed and kept on drinking
biz: he left half of his beer so naturally i drank the rest
girl: naturally.
girl: this is a really good story
girl: this might be a blog
girl: i will anonymize you
girl: thats probably not a word
biz: it can be
girl: it is tonight.
biz: yes
girl: what should i call you?
girl: biz?
girl: guillotine?
biz: hahahaha whatever your hearts desire
girl: i like biz
biz: yeah
girl: its what i call you sometimes to Boy
girl: ill be like, "hey i just talked to biz and we are all meeting at the bar."
biz: hahahahahahah
biz: that made me lol

girl

differences

2010-10-18T19:09:00.005-04:00

i worked a lot today. my botany teacher told me that the other guy who worked in the bio lab is possibly getting fired because he lied about his hours. i thought my botany teacher was going to cry. he is a really big softy, and for a while i felt uncomfortable around him. not today though. but i have felt like he tries to be nice instead of talking to me like a real person. i kept telling him to tell me if there was anything i was doing wrong, because i am constantly paranoid that i am doing something wrong, and i am sure that i do lots and lots of things wrong. our communication has gotten a lot better since then. he used the phrase "take a dump" to me and thats when i realized that he was not uncomfortable around me anymore either. he told me all about the drama of the boy getting fired and told me not to repeat it, and got all nice-guy emotional said, "...but i think you're a different person." i laughed because he called me a "different person." then he started spilling his guts to me about how he was a freak in highschool and college and would run marathons and try to achieve total perfection. he said he set a stopwatch and would study for six hours every day. i am so glad he went off on that tangent and told me all those things. i really like him as a person now. i was sort of confused at first. he is very conservative and overly nice, like a niceness that is almost insincere, but i reckon that's just because he's awkward and complicated. he also made some arbitrary mistake while teaching class once and said that it would bother him for a long time. i just want to be like, "OH MY GOD I WILL BE YOUR FRIEND" but that is probably inappropriate. i dont know why i only like things that are inappropriate.

i just ate a bunch with some boy from school. he is friends with the boy i have dubbed "the prettiest boy in the world." i have a crush on the prettiest boy in the world, but i mean, duh. i have a crush on anything pretty. well anyway i went to the computer lab and pretty boy's friend was there. i have never really talked to him but we facebook chatted long enough for me to say that i was hungry and for him to agree and suggest we go eat a million foods. so we did. i made him listen to rap music in the car. he is into sustainable agriculture and has acne and wants to start a bunny farm. he told me how breeding red and white cows would not make pink. the prettiest boy in the world told me that the food friend had difficulty talking to girls and i really liked that nugget of info. they are strange boys and they like to have healthy minds, bodies and spirits. they are both really easy to talk to and willing to talk to me. the boy i ate with doesn't even drink or smoke anything. anything! he told me he could make me more organized and i was like, "okay. change my life."

bOY

Circus

2010-10-16T16:46:00.003-04:00

Goonies! Do I have a story for you! I really don't. But last night I threw up? I don't know. Something happened. I missed out on a threesome.

girl: what the fuck happened last night?
girl: i cant remember anything
boy: i have never seen you like that
boy: you were dead.
boy: incoherent
girl: so i was unconscious?
boy: dry heaving
boy: you said a bunch of gobblydigook
boy: and then got mad and told us to leave you alone because we were making you throw up
boy: so we did.
girl: HAHA
boy: [person 1] kept bitching about how she wanted to have sex with you
boy: but you were dead.
girl: god.
boy: she called it necrophilia.
boy: she is really funny
boy: she has an infectious laugh.
boy: i have never seen this eisley youtube video
boy: the drummer is cute
girl: yessss
girl: he is
boy: and the girl with the bangs is cute
girl: shes my favorite
girl: oh wait
girl: which bang?
boy: her shirt is good and it makes her bubbies pretty.
girl: the short hair?
boy: brown bang short bang
girl: [sister] just said, he is always trying to talk to me and shit so the next time im gonna say, "you can take your nigger fuckin pill bitch and leave me alone."
boy: LOL
boy: i keep laughing
boy: at everything
boy: like [sister] throwing up in her car.
girl: i know everything is really funny
girl: i keep thinking about you guys having sex
girl: imagining how funny that probably looked to [person 2]
boy: she was like "i really dont want to be a bitch but i have to work tomorrow"
boy: and then we were like awww i'm so sorry blah blah and then laughed hysterically when she shut the door
girl: hahahaha
girl: we are watching kardashians again
boy: and that whole bar scene
boy: god
boy: it was ridiculous
boy: paul passed the fuck out a minute
girl: yeah thats the last thing i remember
girl: nothing after that
girl: and paulie saying you dissed him
girl: i was so pleased
boy: we need a reality show
girl: we do

girl

epinephrine

2010-10-12T03:26:00.003-04:00

i am awake. i must accept it and write a blog. i haven't slept very much this week. today is only tuesday though. wow. i am certainly sleeping a lot tomorrow though. i am setting a date. i have also not been very productive. i dont care. i ate a thousand pieces of pizza and then drank some coffee and ran. i knew coffee and sweating would be bad this late at night but it is much better than going to sleep with a body full of pizza. it probably doesn't matter. it certainly doesn't matter. i guess. i did make a lot of money today to somehow feel so unproductive. it was more money than i have ever made at one time. enough money to make bad decisions with. i want to drop out of school and stop learning and focus my entire life on getting money for buying things i dont need. i have been getting everything i want lately. it is creeping me out. my horoscope is always right. it is good advice, really though. it told me not to waste all that money i made.

listen to this band. i love this band.

this song is about physics homework right now. oh my god i'm mad at it. but my former chemistry lab partner and i did have a good conversation while attempting to work on it together. he is very normal and likes trucks and a little bit of jesus. not a lot of jesus. i love talking to people. all kinds of them. sometimes i am surprised when people act like they like me too. i dont know why i should be surprised by this. ppl r just ppl. he is pretty good at physics. better than me. i am really bad. really. it makes me feel dumb and makes me realize that i have not been trying hard enough and it is discouraging and makes me want to not ~apply myself~ and write run-on sentences. i would rather spend my time studying other things or wasting time.

i started tutoring a girl in chemistry. i am pretty awesome at chemistry, but it is seriously not hard. i thought it was hard for a minute but that's because i was scared. and then i took it a million more times because i went through that phase (ongoing) where i was a fuckup and a retard. this girl (woman) i'm tutoring seems surprisingly smart to need a tutor. i guess it takes a sometimes-smart person to go out looking for a tutor. she is just scared of chemistry. i talked to her professor about her and told her all the things i just told you and he said, "yeah, it's funny how people are like that." scaredycats. i also talked to the girl i'm tutoring about her professor and she said he was a good teacher, but was hard to talk to. he is a really socially awkward man and i actually like talking to him. he always says or does something that entertains me for a second. i smile at people a lot and they think i am laughing at them and i am, but i am laughing because i like them. i freak people out sometimes. i know i do. people are just too weird. it's not me it's you. there are two types of people who work at my community college: socially awkward adorable youngin's and hot old people who have aged and figured their shit out. those are two very good possibilities. that is actually a broad generalization and i'm sure there are lot of bad people too but i only talk to the good ones. the sciences and the maths. the interesting ones.

i just looked for some chemistry notes because i promised the tutee that i would look some shit up before tomorrow (today) and i lied. i looked through some notebooks and saw a bunch of different things i have wrote in a bunch of different handwritings. it's hard to tell if i've been different people or not. i guess in a sense. if anyone has been different people it was probably me. i am mutable because pisces is a water sign. that is both bullshit and a really great quality. i have been thinking about headbands lately. i might have to wear a headband in public. i am not sure how that will look. i have a black one and one with a leopard print. they are very thin. my hair is long. it's a pressing issue.

boy

Chasin' My Papah

2010-10-11T20:44:00.007-04:00

I have a new job! It's so fun! "If Dwight had ten thousand dollaz he woulda got his nose fixed, cuz who wouldn't wanna breathe?"

girl: "if somebody chokes the hell outta me, and i call da police on dey ass, aint no reason fo us to be chummy."
boy: she has good hair
boy: she basically just told him she would give him head.
boy: on tv.
boy: poor housedaughter.
boy: this woman is ridiculous
boy: her top lip is crazy
boy: "he's younger than me"
boy: oh god
boy: this is a good man
boy: he has a joan rivers face.
boy: bitchin about etiquette
girl: yeah
boy: nene's nose is bad too
girl: shes not wearing any makeup
girl: except for maybe some poppin lip glaws
boy: is this her man?
boy: thank god 4 deez fax
boy: oh my god i hate this child.
boy: i am not having children.
girl: its because kim never pays them attention
girl: she just stays drunk
girl: and fixes her wig
boy: sangin with lesbins
girl: did you see that hat??
girl: ?!
boy: no!
boy: "you make my stomach hurt"
girl: i was just thinking about that
boy: nene needs to get her happy on
boy: i dont understand why nene is so upset about dwight
girl: talkin shit
girl: purpa boot
boy: look at nene's tits in that purpa top
girl: and by that he means "im really lookin forward to startin some drama"
boy: hahahaha
boy: what
girl: oh shit
girl: i knew it
boy: i would be scared because i wouldn't know what she was saying.
girl: oh god
boy: YOU DONE WENT OUT AND GOT YO ASS ARRESTED
girl: "exercise is tardy for the party"

Anyway, yeah. Awesome new job.

-gurl

mental plans

2010-10-06T10:18:00.006-04:00

something is wrong with this font. i need to take a minute to compose myself. i am having a crazy day. a scary day. i dont know why. i ate a huge breakfast and i have all this energy. green beans and onions and a sugary poptart and a few triscuits. i dont know why i ate all those things. i made myself because i thought it would be a good idea to have energy. i am shaking. and sweaty. it is really cold but i wore too many clothes. i just ran all over campus a million times. i had a test this morning at 7:45. that is a very cruel thing to do to a person. i didn't finish. there were only 5 questions and i didn't get to number 5. i forgot how to integrate. i have the take-home portion of the test that i must finish by tomorrow. i also have a physics test tomorrow. and some teacher chick is like DO ALL MY LABS and i am like "OKAY!!!!!!" i am like "okay" because i know that it will make me a lot of money. i got a letter from my school yesterday that said "we want to give you more money!!" that is a really good letter to get. i am having a bad hair day. i have crazy-person hair. my horoscope is freaking me out. all three of them. here is one of them:

"A partner -- romantic or otherwise -- could innocently cause problems for you today."

and based off my horoscopes here's my daily objectives in a bulleted list:

write this blog for personal sanity.
change clothes in the bathroom
do this fucking math
study all night for physics. i never sleep on wednesdays anyway.
avoid the redneck at all costs. that is my plan of action right now before this situation gets any stickier. if i see him i am going to want to have sex with him and that is dangerous. not because i personally want to have sex with him but because i have some energies right now that would have sex with a tree if it looked at me the right way. well, not me, but the energy. to clarify: i would have sex with the tree if the tree looked at my energy. redneck called me smart and said that i was good at getting what i wanted. to be such a not-smart boy, this redneck is good at telling me things. things that he thinks i want to hear. he thinks i know what i want. he doesn't know that i know what he wants and that he doesn't know about me. lol. to be perfectly honest with myself he probably knows. he said he does't plan what to say he just gets caught up in the moment and says them. i really like this quality because i am a mental planner. okay. i am not thinking about this any more today. speaking of sticky ickies, someone spilled the sucrose solutions in the bio lab and that shit is everywhere. but that is not on the daily objective list. that is somebody else's business.

i see this girl in the computer lab every day that i go to the computer lab. she is goth. extremely extremely goth. laughably gothic. a huge trenchcoat covered in silver studs and black sunglasses with a silver line. she is wearing studded gloves and wristbands and necklaces and neckbands and just way too many accessories. every accessory that she has ever bought from hot topic. i can see myself in this girl if i am honest enough with myself. i am going to talk to her one day to assess her situation. ok. i'm done. LOLOLOL she is watching ashlee simpson youtube videos. omg i love her.

boy

Don't Grind Your Teeth

2010-10-03T23:55:00.015-04:00

I've always liked Grandaddy. You know them, you just can't remember because they don't exist anymore. Well their lead man, Jason Lytle has a new band called Admiral Radley. I'll be the first to say that Admiral Radley is no Grandaddy.

But they ain't bad. I found a little set they did for NPR and it was nicely done. Their debut album title track was not in accordance with my tastes. "I Heart California" is what it's called, I think. But either way, Jason Lytle is one of the last greats for sure. Along with Karl Blau, lol. Nah but I love Karl Blau. I guess I should pay tribute to him now...

Oh I should tell you about the weekend Boy and I had.

Friday night we went to the taproom and another place that used to be Drips but is now purple and called the Crescent Moon or something retarded. It was an alright place. Anyway we ran into high school people at the taproom and that was really funny. After that we visited a friend who was staying in town for the night unexpectedly. Oh god, I just remembered. I was making out with this friend and B was just sort of chillin' in the car. Like seriously chillin' because it was cold as a mother fucker. Well then he and I get into a drunken argument about me being insensitive to his hypothermia for like thirty minutes on the way to take him home. By the end of the car ride we were both apologizing over and over to each other and all but hugging and crying. Anyway I went back to the place the friend was staying and didn't get home til 6am.

Well Saturday night we decided that we were just going to stay at our respective homes and internet each other about clothes and how we need a million dollars until a friend invited us to go dancing. So of course we did. After the dancing our friend then asked us to go to the place she was house sitting to play in the hot tub and sleep in all the beds. So we were like "uh, for sure." Well to make a long story short... ish, the girls in the car behind us crashed and one of them almost died. J had some dank ass party favors so while B was lounging in the hot tub drinking rum and throwing all his cares to the wind I was out back doin' me. At one point J goes, "Hey, watch this. I'm gonna put my whole bowl in my mouth." So he did and the next thing I know he's spewing his guts out over the railing. I laughed until I was in pain. Then I was going to get some sleep, but Boy woke me up because he was slurping ketchup downstairs and rustling around in the celery (jk, jk). A remarkably inebriated girl came slinking up the stairs to take part in the frenzy, but our host gave her carrots and Caesar dressing instead of the finer foods the home owners had to offer. She lost her carrot in the dressing and was afraid that the house sitter friend would discover her carelessness so after she dug around in the bottle for a while she shot me a narrow glance and slurred, "Now, as far as we know, Caesar... was lost." I'm pretty sure she didn't even know she was actually talking at that point, much less what she had said or how profound it seemed. I like her. She's cool. Good people, good times, my friends.

I watched a movie last night called London with Jessica Beal. It's about drugs and fucking and fighting. You know, all of my interests. Nah, but for real it's a good movie.

gurl

My Baby Is Gone

2010-09-29T15:53:00.009-04:00

BLOG. I am on the verge of tears. I think I am still in a state of shock. I just busted a giant hole in the side of my Martin. My beautiful, flawless guitar. There is a real hole. Gaping. The story behind it is really ridiculous and it sounds like I'm making it up. Well, those of you who do not know me might think I'm making it up...

I was tying my shoes, preparing to pick my sister up from school when the sudden and uncontrollable urge to masturbate punched me right in the face. Well I had to be fast or else my sister would have to go to daycare or something if I didn't get her in time. So I picked up my computer from the couch and sat it on the arm of the chair right beside my guitar. I jerked my shorts off and went at it. I'll spare you the rest of the details, but as I was climaxing I kicked. With a great, wild force. Kicked my computer. I was deaf by and blind at this point and entirely unaware that anything was amiss. As I came to my senses I noticed my computer had fallen. I looked over the arm of the couch and there it was, laying right beside my guitar. The corner of it had landed squarely on the gentle and delicate curve of her body. And there, my friends, is the great pit of my despair. A hole. A fatal tear in the chest of my one true love. Now my heart is as hollow as her chamber.

I have a plan though. I can't let anyone know that I broke my guitar, so I am going to just buy another one exactly like it and have it shipped to Boy's house. No one will be the wiser. The only risk that I have to face is that which time presents. I don't have the money to purchase one right away so it will probably be a month or two before I can have the new one securely in my possession. I will have to keep a low, low profile so this means no more music for a while. No more guitar, anyway. I guess I'll have a lot of time to write songs on the piano now. Oh and I posted a new song on myspace which I should have recognized as a foreboding omen.

Girl

complicated naughty and nice

2010-09-28T19:14:00.003-04:00

today i had a really good experience with an adorable and curious redneck. he likes country music and has a green truck. he showed me his truck and drew directions to his house on my hand with his finger. i didn't pay attention to the directions. we smoked cigarettes on a no-smoking campus and the sun was in our eyes. it was really fun. he told me he likes my hair and helping people. he is not very smart or cute but he is nice and made me smile a lot. he is now extremely cute to me.

boy

You Goddamn Right

2010-09-25T13:29:00.018-04:00

O my god, you bitches. You have no idea how good Sunny Ledfurd was. It seriously got to the point where I wanted to flash Sunny and ask him to marry me. He doesn't seem like a marrying man though, so I refrained. We had a surprisingly good turn out. Andy brought two of his friends and one of my old classmates came too making seven of us, not counting my cousin. There were a lot of old drunk people swaying and making out as the band played. Nothing unusual. Of course, he played our favorites. The words dripped off his tongue like sweet nectar. I got a video, but it is of very poor quality so I'll just use this one...

LOL. That is even better than I remember it. You can hear us screaming a lot. I think it was mostly me and Jamie. We are becoming notorious for hollering in other peoples' youtube videos. "YOU GODDAMN RIGHT I'M GETTIN' DRUNK."

Now I will spend a moment to talk about the rest of the night since I know you guys haven't heard much about our heedless adventures in a long time. Boy could probably provide a much more entertaining perspective on all this than I can...

My cousin came up but was under age so he couldn't get in to see Sunny. He was absolutely inconsolable. We had our fun and returned to find him stretched out in his back seat with half a jar of moonshine in his hand, parked on the busiest part of Broadway. Dear lord. After we took him back and convinced him to sleep on Jamie's couch, we ventured out to another bar. We met up with Jamie's friend and her roommate who happens to be an acquaintance of mine. Got drunker. A startlingly strange man hit on B and requested that they rendezvous at some point during the night. Well of course we had to capitalize on this opportunity. Many interesting things took place. He had an only slightly attractive straight male friend with him, who, if I am recalling correctly, was wearing a tie dye t-shirt. You know my feelings on tie dye. This boy was not the best straight accessory I've ever met, but he fulfilled his purpose. And by that I mean he balanced out all the gayness. The stranger had a magnificent apartment right downtown and happened to be a chiropractor. I did not get to experience the touch of his magic hands, but from what I understand, they are amazing. He was quite obviously insane, but a very good level of it. This man was much older than any of us expected. I'm pretty sure he's crushing on Boy. I'm always sure. It wasn't the craziest night we've ever had, but I observed a lot of curious behaviors. I think I talked about economics for a while. Or used the principles of economics to model my social life. Y'all know... bein' drunk. I was probably wrong about it all though. After all, the conventions assume that people act rationally. On this micro scale I would essentially be assuming that I act rationally. And I, in fact, do not. I am not going to analyze that any further. The point of this story is that we woke up in my car with the music playing after hours of oblivion and old Laverne still cranked right up. The end.

Girl

White Trashin' Around

2010-09-22T11:48:00.005-04:00

Janelle Monae is featured in Elle's 25th anniversary special along with Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried. Also Lauren Conrad (lol). I figured I'd just share that with ya. Because I like her. Jamie (of the HungrySisters), Boy and Your's Truly are going to Wild Wings to hear Sunny Ledfurd this weekend. I've posted youtubes of Sunny's timeless classics that you may or may not remember. It's been over a year ago. But "Myrtle Beach" and "Pontoon Boat" are what I'm referring to. They are his only timeless classics. I am definitely going to have a beer or two, but I doubt I will get drunk. I will DD. Mostly because I don't get paid for another two weeks and money is tight. Student loans are a pain in the ass, my friends! Actually I will probably set 20 bucks aside for drinks. I want to go downtown after we see Sunny. I will try my best to take pix and vids so you guys can share our enjoyment. I would like to get a picture of me making out with him or something vulgar. He probably doesn't do that. I bet he's classy in real life. But come out with us if you're in the area. Buy me a goddamn drink (jk, jk).

Oh and to the person who wants to get hitched, I will see how much Sunny charges to provide wedding entertainment.

-Girl

Talking In Circles

2010-09-17T11:24:00.006-04:00

Part I
Girl: i am watching tna
J: did i tell you i saw it ringside last month?
Girl: no!
J: i went with trey
J: and we got ringside tickets
J: and got real drunk
J: and yelled at all of the bad guys
Part II
J: he has been faking that he was crazy for 3 years
J: just for a movie!
Girl: i am confused
J: okay.. you know how joaquin pheonix said he was quitting acting and all of this stuff after he played johnny cash?
J: and he had a beard and everyone thought he had gone crazy
J: it was all acting
Girl: how perfect
Part III
J: if this one actor can fool the world into thinking he's crazy
J: what can anyone else fool us into
J: NOTHING IS REAL
J: LIES LIES!!
J: AND WRESTLING IS FAKE TOO?!!?
J: AND THE HILLS?!?!
J: I'M HAVING A MELTDOWN
Girl: actors are creating a false reality
Girl: dear god
J: lindsay lohan is actually not addicted to drugs
Girl: and britney spears is a genius
J: she actually does know about space travel
Girl: holy fuck britney spears is from the future
J: IS THAT REAL?!?
Girl: it has to be
J: i feel like i'm on the truman show
J: maybe OUR lives are reality tv
Girl: aliens
J: what.
J: the.
J: fuck.
Girl: i bet we are just some aliens reality tv show
Girl: aliens have a million different channels
J: and they have crossover specials
J: like when you come to asheville
J: the [Girl] show crosses over with the [HungrySister] show
Girl: we are like the kardashians or something
Girl: only not rich and powerful
J: well.. when you put it in that light
Girl: we are really like the bad girls club
Girl: we are disillusioned and drunk all the time
Girl: thinking our lives really matter
Part IV
Girl: i am watching the squidbillies episode where rusty becomes a professional wrestler
J: once you watch one thing about wrestling you have to watch more
J: its how it all begins
J: next thing you know its 3 hours later and you're reading about 1999 wrestlemania on wikipedia
Girl: dear lord

dont tell on me

2010-09-15T22:01:00.002-04:00

boy: we had a take-home test in calc and i really want to send a boy a message on facebook asking him if he wants to talk about math
boy: but my teacher had us sign a statement
boy: HONOR SYSTEMMMM
boy: should i be honorable?
girl: no.
girl: who cares
girl: hahaha
girl: you missed the kardashians didnt you?
girl: and now you are missing plastic surgery junkies
boy: i missed everything
girl: all for calculus
boy: i did a lot of crazy math to get to this answer and i just want to know if it was the right thing to do
girl: yeah id talk to your friend
girl: but im dishonorable
girl: YOULL BRING HONOR TO US ALLLL
boy: i am lost and undone
girl: kourtney better not move to nyc with scott
girl: that would be the worst thing for her life
boy: i'll send him a message that says "are you an honorable person?"
boy: he already thinks i'm a freak.
girl: yes
girl: that is a good ass message
boy: he is going to be like "WTF WHO IS THIS IMA BEAT YER DAMN ASS"
girl: well he cant beat your ass through the internet
girl: so
girl: no skin off your back
boy: he'll beat my ass in class.
girl: oh
boy: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
boy: that would be so funny.
boy: i would probably try to kiss him in the throes of passion
girl: is he a cutie??
boy: i need to hear fistful of love
boy: he is pretty cute
boy: he is normal, obviously
girl: yeah
girl: toooooo normal.
boy: but cute enough.

boy

damn africa what happened

2010-09-13T21:26:00.003-04:00

naomi campbell is in my yoga class. she is from south africa and she has an accent and she is beautiful. i told her she was pretty and that may or may not be perceived as creepy. i have some sort of liberated sexuality so i can say it innocently. at least confidently. funny how that works. i fell asleep in yoga. srsly snoozin. i mean, i think i did. the teacher said someone was snoring but i dont remember going to sleep. we were doing some meditation relaxation thing. whatever. it was boring. it was listening to a guy on tape. i remember making a conscious decision to stop listening to that man on tape and listen to my own breathing. i am either really great or really rusty at meditating. i made friends with the two people in my botany class that i had been eying: the one i thought was annoying, and her cute male friend. she is still ...talkative... but i am not going to complain about someone wanting to talk to me. it's nice. the boy has strong religious convictions. i can tell. i just know. he is a really nice boy though. very sincere. he said i looked exactly like his best friend in elementary school, except that his friend had brown hair. i liked him instantly for saying that. redheads are sensitive. we were talking and discovered that we went to the same elementary school for a while, which is really coincidental. but i was not his best friend - i just thought i should clarify that. today has been a good day for self-esteem. i have based my self worth on my perceived value to others, which is dangerous, but a good day for self esteem. a boy in my calculus class asked me if i got a haircut and when i told him that i had not he asked, "well where is it?!" i thought that was really funny. i like that boy because he told me i was smart. he said, "hey, you're smart, help me with this." lots of people have been talking to me. i am clearly putting out some good vibes. it is tiring.

this song is really great. i know you're not going to believe me.
"I used to be lunatic from your precious face
I used to be woebegone and so restless nights"
"No more 'I love yous'
A language is leaving me"
that is such a dramatic and playful way to describe emotion. and getting rid of residual emotion. i like how the words are arranged in unconventional patterns, or seemingly unconventional to me right now. i heard this song a million times before i paid attention.

boy

u dont know me

2010-09-12T13:27:00.004-04:00

crazy dreams last night/today. i'm guessing they were mostly today because that is really when i slept. i slid around on my feet like tarzan, the disney version. sliding on vines and tree stumps. and roads. my feet were frictionless. i traveled everywhere i've ever been really quickly. i went to the grocery store and kissed my lab partner in a jungle canopy of canned drinks and cardboard. i got fussed at by the customers until i talked to them and they realized i was an okay person. i went to my cousin's wedding. it was a in giant field and the bridal party were all filthy and pierced rockstars. it started getting dark and marriages are long and boring. i went to college. a news crew was at college because of political activism. angry liberals. i overheard a boy talking about how he "broke his dick," not his own dick, but his professor's dick. that is probably not a real part of anyone's vernacular but it was my dream so i knew what he meant. "breaking a dick" is putting someone in their place. i thought that was a really spectacular thing for my brain to make up. college was very three dimension. instead of ordinary buildings the furniture and desks and chairs were arranged up, like alice in wonderland falling down the rabbit hole, but it was okay because i had frictionless tarzan feet. i just fell like a water droplet through leaves. gracefully. i slid on out of there and ended up lost in some junkyard for a while. it was creepy as fuck. by this time it was really bright outside and the ground was white gravel and i was sliding in the wrong direction and i couldn't find my way back. out of all the billions of cars i found the owner, sleeping in one random car. he awoke from some stupor and was just about to be a dick to me before i slid in the ride direction and woke up. this song is a good one.

boy

DEVIL WENT DOWN TO GEORGIA!

2010-09-05T08:18:00.005-04:00

Well we went to the festival yesterday! I arrived at about 1230 and met the HungrySisters and all their friends and lovers. Most everyone was already drinking and the Dollar Brothers were playing away. I got a video of them but it exceeds the file size. Fuck that shit. Anyway we got drunk, danced around and then went to bed. We danced in front of the stage and got fussed at by some old bitch in a skirt that looked like a quilt. The lady said we were too drunk! Ha! Just because I fell down in front of god and everybody does not mean I was too drunk. I should have told her how ugly I thought her boots and skirt were. We made a friend. Well I guess I made a friend. Some boy that wanted to dance and make out and stuff. I had to make out with him to get him to go away. Kiss him goodnight, if you will. I was later told by the HungrySisters that he was a Stanley dumbfuck. He was from Stanely, NC. Am I ashamed? No. Steep Canyon Rangers were really good and Jamie's sister said they appreciated our dancing. I don't know how true that is, but at least they weren't like Mountain Heart who hollered at us. Hurt our poor feelings. Mountain Heart is a good band though. Matt suggested we seduce them all. Become bluegrass groupies I think. We sang "Sex and Candy" when we got back to the tent and the oldest HungrySister played an autoharp. We were like country bards or gypsies or something sitting under a tarp screaming "disco super fly" over and over. Y'all I'm sorry about the quality of this blog. I am tired as a mother fucker. It is 830am and I just got home from sleeping in a goddamn tent with thin ass little blanket in subzero temperatures. I am cussin' up a storm. On Sundy! If I can find a video or two from the festival I'll be sure to post it for you.

Oh look. Found it. Listen to that man yelling "DEVIL WENT DOWN TO GEORGIA!" He requested that song from every band. He was there in the same chair requesting the same song for eight solid hours.

girl

Compare And Contrast

2010-09-01T16:53:00.005-04:00

Yesterday I witnessed the massacre of a raccoon family. My head is aching somethin' awful. I am getting more and more excited as the Blue Grass & Peddlers Festival approaches. Not really because I care a lot about the music or the vending, but mostly because it's an open container tailgate event. Jamie (of the HungrySisters) informed me that it was taking place a couple weeks ago. I believe all or most of the HungrySisters will be in attendance, actually. I'll let you know how it goes. Even list it as a "show" if that is hardly appropriate.

There's a lot of new Sufjan Stevens going on lately. First off there is The Age Of Adz which is his newest album. I'm not going to talk about that because it hasn't leaked yet. I mean there is one song out, but I don't care. I do care about his latest EP called All Delighted People.

I am watching Fashion Police with Joan Rivers and Kelly Osborne. I am giving it a test run. I like red carpet fashion chatter and so far I'm alright with this. Joan is acting all business and no play though. She needs to get funny. Oh wait she just said, "She looks like she fell out of Patti LaBelle's nose." LOL. You know, I think I will take a second of my time to list my top three reality shows:

First is anything Kardashian. I don't think I really have to list any reasons why. Next is Kendra/Holly's World. Those two shows are interchangeable. Kendra is really retarded and has no manners or inhibitions unless it comes to spending a dime. My favorite quote of hers is, "I am cheap person." How appropriate. Holly, however, is more intelligent and a little matronly making her a magnet for fabulous fags. The real value of her show lies in her friends' personalities since Holly herself is lacking quite a bit in that department. But she is a perfect mediator and a subtle antagonist. My third favorite show is Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane. We've all been watching Kimora's progress over the years. Her show has always been pretty decent. But the fourth season was amazing. Good lord. She nailed it. She knows how to be reality tv. She's like Tyra but not as easy to hate. She is delusional about her own importance and place in the fashion universe. In the actual universe. She is pregnant on tv (not unlike Kendra), her children are brats (not unlike the Kardashians), she's loud and obnoxious (not unlike Kendra), and she attracts hilarious gays (not unlike Holly). So why is she only in third place? Kimora doesn't have enough "real" drama. Her drama is all meeting deadlines and getting her breast milk to pump out. Kendra's drama is realizing she actually has breast milk. The Kardashians have too many dramas to count. And Holly is surrounded by innumerable fits of faggy diva drama all the time. That's it. I'm done. Reality. Get a grip on it.

girl

it is time to go home.

2010-08-31T19:13:00.004-04:00

i learned of this band while doing calculus. did you know youtube can pick songs for you now? damn youtube, you future. actually that is not all so future. THIS IS FUCKING FUTUREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE it is from some space colony art of the 1970s. thats a good internet. i stayed up all night doing physics because i thought it was due today. it wasn't, but calculus was. i spent all day doing calculus. so far school has been a continuous freakout. a monotonous and terribly boring deterioration of my sanity. it's been fun. i still dont fucking understand anything. i start work tomorrow. i don't even know what's in store, other than a buncha shit. a whooooole lotta shit to do. something about apple juice and gatoraid. densities. it should be easy. i need to make friends with the other boy who works in the lab, but he is awkward. i can be awkward sometimes too. duh. i've tried talking to him. he is personality-less, but he is really nice. he's a sweet little boy with fucked up teeth. he really is little. everyone here has fucked up teeth. my teeth are glamorous. i went home to eat a million calories and watch the rachel zoe project. i didn't intend on watching the rachel zoe project but it's so dramatic i couldn't stop. dramatic bitchy fashin reality television. you know how it gets me. everything is a meltdown. i came back to school to do more homework but so far i've only looked at the future on the internet. i finished all that calculus. i did school for over 12 hours straight. i have learned so much. i dont remember any of it at the moment but my brain is clearly full of something. bullshit. and rachel zoe project. i told stats teacher i was going to have a nervous breakdown. he said he would video it and put it on youtube. i talk about stats teacher too much. whatevz dis my blog! i dont know you! my life is math. stats teacher is the new lindsay lohan. not really. no one will ever replace her. i told my physics class lindsay lohan was my hero. i am such a good person. i have interacted with lots of people today. some girl talked to me too much when i was trying to do work, but i still liked her. i bet she took drama in highschool. she was writing a paper entitled "how do i know if i'm normal?" she wore a nice dress and had a pretty face and one of her tooths was bruised like a corn. we talked about math. the boy with tats asked me if i looked up the guy from underoath. i told him that not all redheaded boys look the same. there is a boy i regularly see in the computer lab who looks like a guy i was friends with in asheville, except more attractive. his teeth are fucked up too, but in a really good way. like kirsten dunst, except appropriated to him. i saw the homosexual but i've been too busy to care. it's strange here at the center of the universe.

boy

we're all red on da insidez

2010-08-30T20:20:00.001-04:00

i just got done with yoga. yoga is soooo good! it is my favorite class. it made me forget how much my day was sucking, and let me tell you, suck it did. i am going to rehash all that bad right now though. days like this are why people do drugs. i didn't know there was a test in a botany. i failed it. i went to stats teacher's office but calc 2 teacher was there instead!!!1 calc 2 teacher could not adequately explain to me if such and such was true because of the rules of SOHCAHTOA, because calc 2 teacher "doesn't use SOHCAHTOA" WTF U R A CALCULUS TEACHER. i just wanted to know if this was sohcahtoa. i am really upset about being oblivious to a test. i dont know how that happened. i am a fuckup and a retard and a failure!!! ok, i'm over it. some boy with lots of tattoos and piercings told me i looked like the drummer from UNDEROATH. i presumed it was because the drummer of underoath has red hair, and i was right. every redheaded boy looks exactly like every other redheaded boy. that's what life has taught me. the drummer isn't fat though. i checked. i want beer.

i'm going to go do math and physics until my brain falls out my butt. lylas.
boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Talent

2010-08-27T12:43:00.009-04:00

Just real quick I want to share this link to Victoria Riches' Flickr. Above is a sketch she did of Susie Bubble which can be found on her blog. She's really good.

grl

love or prison

2010-08-26T22:16:00.003-04:00

boy: the "misery is a butterfly" album by blonde redhead was the first album i really got into that was outside of "normal" music
boy: or what i considered to be normal at the time
girl: yeah
girl: i understand that
girl: i think one of my firsts was rilo kiley portions for foxes
girl: no i take that back
girl: i accidentally stumbled upon cat power and dismissed her until i realized she was sort of cool
boy: i wonder if we will look back on other things in our futures and feel the same way
boy: like remembering the exploration of music tastes
boy: "i remember the first time my mind was expanded by _____"
girl: i imagine so
boy: i hope so
boy: BLONDE REDHEAD CHANGED MY LIFE

make it work

2010-08-26T21:25:00.002-04:00

i figured out solutions to my problems. when we travel through time the spacecraft will be pressurized to accommodate the changes in acceleration. or our clothes will be. space suits. duh. i dont know what i was thinking. of course we will be wearing space suits. if we figure out the secret of travel through space and time we will, of course, have figured out how to accommodate. i dont think we'll even be in our bodies. we'll probably be robots or data. we have to evolve eventually. i've heard people say that unlike other animals, who evolve to fly or stretch their necks like giraffes, we have evolved to use tools. well our bodies will have to evolve too right? i mean everything evolves. we can't be so proud to think that we're not going to change drastically. i want to be data. human internet. kinda like avatar except not as blue. i've been going to my former stats teacher for help with my current calc 2 problems. he is a really good teacher. and really cute and nice. i would take his derivative, if ya know what i mean. eh eh? well anyway, he's been doing my homework. but at least i understand how he gets the answers. i have never been so lost in a math class. i am actually not lost in the class. i am lost when i have to do the problems on my own and nothing has been explained clearly. i know i'm not just making this up and blaming the teacher. this is real. stats teacher is the head of the math department and i told him that my teacher sucked, so maybe he'll fire him. i got a phone number today. from some homosexual. he seems cool and nice and regular. and by that i mean boring. if he was white i would probably think he was boring but he has brown skin. is that racist? i guess it's racist against white people. i dont know or care. i'm having a difficult time staying on topic, whatever that may be. i am going to test this boy out. eventually. when i think of an activity for us to do, which will probably be never. maybe that means i am boring. or he is not "my type." i dont know what "my type" is, but in the past it has been crazy people. or stats teachers. i got a burnin desire for mathematics and i just want someone to blow my mind. i am definitely going to go back to real college. i haven't decided where or when or if i'm mature enough yet. i am in a good place right now. i dont have school tomorrow which means i can drink a pot of coffee right now at 9:30. our russian friend contacted us (boy and girl). we are going to hang out with him tomorrow. this is exciting. he is very russian and listens to metal and is into esoterism. i'm not really sure what that means but it was listed as his religion on facebook. it's impossible to be bored by a russian. essentially what i'm saying here is that to pass my test you need a gimmick. make it work! do you watch project runway? i still watch that shit. bitchy fashionistas are so funny. tim gunn told some old lady, "you are so uptight, it's like you've got a lump of coal up your ass. pull it out and make a diamond." that's some life lessons right there, tim gunn.

TTYL, boy

Bernice

2010-08-26T20:16:00.004-04:00

I LIKE MIRANDA LAMBERT. OKAY?! Assholes. You're all judging me right now. But really. "White Liar" is a good ass song. I want a redhead named Bernice. Anyway, the real reason for me sitting here and wasting my time is all because of that Blonde Redhead leak. Penny Sparkle is the name of the album as I assume you already know. I was slow to get a hold of it. An entire week. Some of you might remember the days when I was in college and had nothing to do but scour the internet for the first leak of that new Neko Case album or Hope Sandoval appearance. Well now I have more important things on my plate. Like watching Say Yes To The Dress. Anyway, back to it...

You've probably already heard the first track on the album called "Here Somtimes" since it leaked before the rest of them.

I encourage you to get this album seriously. It's a lot like Blonde Redhead has grown into something very adult. They are old now. A mature band. I mean let's get real. They are like Cat Power old. I could talk all day about the Cat Power Age. But I won't. I will just say that this album is beaty and a good level. Maybe not next level as we know it. Or think we know it. But a good level. I need to stop talking about the next level. I am annoyed by it now anyway. Well I reckon I'll leave y'all with this...

bitch

stupid bodies

2010-08-24T21:03:00.007-04:00

i have a freckle on my neck that i've never noticed before. maybe it is new. or cancer. i am exhausted. really. i can't sleep at the right times, or for extended periods, but you already knew that so i will stop saying it. it's raining and that's making me groggy. things have been really good lately, and i have this feeling that it isn't real or i'll get destroyed by an eighteen wheeler on the way to school. it will mush me like a bug. it's probably a crazy thought. driving to school at 7:30 is not fun. the real world is scary. i ran into a cute boy today. and by "ran into" i mean our bodies physically collided with force. i'm not sure why that is worth mentioning. it's just not every day that you run into someone. i haven't started work yet. i have to wait until "the paperwork goes through" wtf. we have internet. make this shit happen. what if they change their minds? what if they run a background check on me and see that i have a DUI and my college is like "no! you cannot be hired! no second chances!!1" i think i would rather get mushed by a transfer truck.

calc 2 is a slow and painful torture. he reads formulas from the book and it doesn't teach me anything. it's still cool to me though. graphs and intangible tangents and things that don't entirely make sense but seem like cool ideas - like time travel. thats what calc 2 is. time travel. physics is really cool. the professor is interesting. he is a tiny man with a weathered face and animated personality. he forgets what he's talking about a lot, but he's still worth following. he talked about how our bodies could feel acceleration but not motion. that's why we dont feel like we're moving in cars until we go around a curve. i really wanted to ask him if he thought our bodies would feel acceleration if we were in a time machine. mostly as a joke, but also to hear his answer. i bet acceleration is somehow involved in time travel. it has to be. it's complicated shit.

oh p.s. that song i posted up there is really good. i had to repeat it. he says good things. he says a bunch of complicated intangible bullshit and i think it might be genius.

boy

same clothes different day

2010-08-24T07:09:00.001-04:00

i have felt like blogging lately. i woke up at 4. it sucks. i slept through yoga yesterday!! i feel really bad about that. actually i dont care, because it's just yoga, but i can't let the instructor know that i think that. i will email him/her or find his/her office today and pretend to care. i dont want to have to go to SECOND day of yoga and be behind. that's not fair. everyone will have an advantage. they'll be yoga pros in comparison to me. where do i get a yoga mat? what should i wear? am i going to be the only person of my age/gender? I NEED ANSWERS. i hope there are cool people in my physics class. there are no cool people in my botany class. well. there is a girl who thinks she is cool, and prior to this class i decided that i "hated her and her ostentatiously dressed friends." i guess i can give this a girl a chance. i have a few options. i can be lab partners with the annoying hipster girl & her cute male friend ORRRRR be lab partners with old annoying people who don't understand when not to talk, or i could partner up with the boy i sat next to yesterday. the boy who would not quit picking at his scabs.

boy

muh muh muh muh

2010-08-23T12:15:00.003-04:00

i got a job as a lab tech at school. i am excited and happy. the school is building a new lab!! i get to work in it!!!! i get keys!!!!!!!!! i got in the car and "just dance" was playing and i knew it was a sign from lady gaga herself. i am not frequently excited and happy. this is a big deal for me.

boy

i want to be a beach bum

2010-08-23T04:28:00.005-04:00

i have school today. i can't sleep at all. today is going to suuuuuck, because of the lack of sleep, not school itself. i am taking calc 2. it has been a million years since i took calc 1. i have that class every day at 7:45 am. i didn't know classes could even be that early. it doesn't bother me though, as long as i get a lil sleep. just a taste. i hope staying up all night and then going to calculus does not become a habit. i am excited about that class though. i hope it is challenging. it probably won't be because it's at community college, but who knows. calc 2 is still calc 2, and i dont remember anything from calc 1. i hope it is a challenge and i have a lot of math homeworks. you can listen to music while you do math homeworks. it's hard with other kinds because words get in the way.

tonight i have decided that best coast is a really good band. i have known about them for a while but i was never bored enough to care. they sound like a lot of other bands but that's okay. their name even sounds like a lot of other bands: beach house, wavves. those are three newish bands about beaches. there are also a lot of droney bands out right now, and i love that. i want a challenge in deciphering lyrics. i want to be forced to listen really hard. the sound is so full and it leaves my ears completely satisfied. its like eating a bowl of beans. or waiting in your car during a thunderstorm. or living inside a bee hive. i wish i could put the feeling of me and this song in a bottle and sell it. i would make millions.

emeralds is also a good band for me right now.

also, did you know that bat for lashes covered bruce springsteen's "i'm on fire?" that is such a good song. i dont know how he came up with a song so good at that time, but i am glad he did. that is one of my favorite songs of all time. of all time!

i have really great taste in music. and everything. i hope i have a good hair day.

boy

Poncho

2010-08-18T19:26:00.005-04:00

Lindsey Thornburg

She makes cloaks. I want one real bad. I saw her here on Contributing Editor and found the interview to be entertaining.

girl

Mute... The TV Is On Mute

2010-08-18T00:14:00.005-04:00

Remember that? I know all y'all's mommas listened to that in the car when y'all were driving to the grocery store. Hair of a pagan goddess.

Girl

sunday reviews

2010-08-15T17:34:00.004-04:00

boy: they are an experimental all-over-the-place band
boy: but relaxing i guess
boy: i played the album earlier and thought it was pretty good background music
girl: yeah that is a good song

girl: is that asian biting foreskin?
girl: or does she have a fucked up tongue
girl: i cant tell
girl: i would like to believe that it is foreskin
girl: thats hotter anyway
boy: i believe she is.
boy: jackson eaton
boy: i like his pics
boy: and his supercute asian girlfriend
boy: who apparently always makes good hair decisions
girl: that is good stuff
girl: hes hairy
boy: yeah
boy: and cute
girl: hes cute.
girl: but im not into all that fur
girl: im not woman enough for that.
boy: i'm into everything
boy: cept poop
girl: yeah poop is pretty gross

boy

Out Of The Desert

2010-08-14T20:47:00.005-04:00

I've been an awful blogger lately. And by awful I mean lazy and uninspired. Anyway, here's a tune I wanted to share. I'm not sure if you guys care for Grouper, but I've liked her stuff for a few years now. I think I spoke about Dragging A Dead Deer Up A Hill (best Grouper album so far) a really long time ago. Back when the blog was just a young'un. This is called "Hold" and it's new.

It's definitely music that you have to be in the mood for. It seems a little more melancholy than say, "Heavy Water/I'd Rather Be Sleeping" (my personal fave). That was the song that made me really fall in love with her music. Perhaps it's an acquired taste.

girl

"THINK ABOUT IT"

2010-08-06T15:06:00.005-04:00

boy: in my future internet reality i'm gonna download a car
girl: man that will be fun
girl: i think i will grow a penis and rape a lot of people
boy: a pink hummer with louis vuitton interior
girl: and youll ride on the clouds
boy: i'm going to change my name to Tron Javolta
girl: HA!!!
boy: because that is very futuristic sounding
boy: a manifestation of the internet

I told Boy to blog this, but he won't because it must break some blogger code where you can't blog your own "quotable quote" (Peggy Hill) without it being egotistical or something. I secretly believe it is because he doesn't like to do all that color coding and name changing. Mhmmm.

Pebblez (Da Model)

2010-07-31T01:19:00.001-04:00

boy

anticipating the 3D rerelease

2010-07-27T05:27:00.002-04:00

bro: you've got to learn to love jesus christ
bro: and let him into your heart
boy: i haven't seen that movie
bro: dude that movie is hot
bro: i feel like if you're into BDSM at ALL
bro: or if you're a little bit gay or bi-curious
bro: then passion of the christ is def a movie you should see
boy: haha really
bro: o yeah dude
bro: at the end of that movie i wanted to fuck jesus
bro: watching him being tied up and beaten and whipped like that for the whole movie
bro: so helpless
bro: washboard abs heaving
bro: i mean its ridiculous
boy: well damn
boy: i never thought i would watch it, but you just got me interested in this jesus fellow

Woman

2010-07-25T23:33:00.005-04:00

Hayyy Blogggg. I wanted to tell y'all about my new hobby. I read smut now. Yes. Doesn't every real woman read smut? Just playin'. But I did run across a real gem in my grandma's bookcase. It was an uncorrected proof that was all faded and smelled like a book that was purchased twenty years ago should. So I started reading it. It's called, The Conqueror. It was all about the bastard child of some dead Duke or something who meets her enemy as he burns down her village or something. Anyway they hate each other and there's a lot of sexual tension and graphic imagery leading up to the inevitable passionate lovemaking part. All I'm going to say is that this dude could totally probe me deeper, rocking his huge shaft as far as he could into me. That is almost a direct quote from the book. But a real direct quote, one you might enjoy, dear reader...

As he drove into her, she felt his mouth on her nipple, felt his teeth. It was the end, for her world exploded in sensations the likes of which were unimaginable, and she was lost, lost to this existence, climaxing again and again.

Now, I just want to say that I have never had sex that good with anyone. I don't think it even exists. One could argue that it was all due to Ceidre's "true love" for Rolfe. But let's be honest with ourselves... no. That is why those novels get published, right? Fantasy. In all fairness, I thoroughly enjoyed the novel and read it within 24 hours of picking it up.

girl

dope shit, etc

2010-07-22T05:17:00.002-04:00

pic is unrelated. kinda.

this blog is about SALEM, a band that mixes genres like paris hilton and michael jackson and a random old guy on the verge of death. and nicole richie before she got back on adderall. maybe a bottle of cough syrup instead. straight chillin. it's kinda scary and kinda sexy and mostly surreal.

okay, with no further ado

king night

asia

redlights

and here's a remix of gucci mane's "bird flu." it's probably the best thing i've ever heard ever in my entire life.

try it you just might like it.

also, be careful. there's some scary shit out there in the internet. i dont know who put together some of these SALEM videos but there's one where a naked black chick dances around on a car while a white woman sits inside and cries, and one where a guy hangs himself because his pig/lover? dies, and one where some inexplicable images of a ski mask are flashed and i'm fairly certain someone is getting raped in the ass. talk to you later,

boy

Quarter Life Crisis

2010-07-13T23:36:00.005-04:00

Seth (of Seth Powell and Friends) brought this to my attention the other night and I thought it was worth mentioning. He knows my heart.

Brandon referred to this as old school. That wasn't my first thought. I was more like "how indie". But he compared it to next level shit. And I now understand. The next level has arrived for real. Jenny and Johnny are so different from the next level. They are so "indie". And the indie scene of the late 90's and early 2000's is old news. I just had a major revelation about the next level: WE GETTIN' OLD.

girl

Robutts

2010-07-09T16:25:00.004-04:00

boy: king dee dee
boy: i thought the king from kirby was called that
girl: kirby
girl: is that about a car?
girl: that is self aware?
girl: i guess it could also be a pokemon
boy: nah bitch its a pink ball that eats birds and saves the world
boy: actually i dont really know kirby's mission
girl: but doesnt lindsay lohan have a car named kirby in one of her movies?
boy: he's just livin his life
girl: he's doin' him.
boy: herbie
girl: ooooooh
girl: different.

girl

DANCE ASSES, DANCE

2010-07-08T07:28:00.004-04:00

i am watching 'dance your ass off' on mute while listening to clubland 17. this show has far too much talking and not enough dancing away of the asses. this bitch standing on the scale is grimacing and trying real hard to cry for that camera shoved in her face. she has a mole that looks like a septum-piercing or a booger, but that's not the source of her woes. girl got a fat ass, and she only lost 4 pounds this week. i know 4 pounds is pretty good for a week, but damn, you got some different percentages going on, and if i was on a weight-loss competition i would be shittin' blood if i had to. no time to talk to y'all judges, i gotta dance this ass off, for money, or whatever the fuck you win when you lose the most ass. did i mention that i'm listening to a song called "rocket to your uranus?"

lol is this real life? wtf is new in ur neck a tha woods? you weren't expecting this rocket to uranus were you? i saw that "clubland 17" was the number 2 album on UK itunes (nippin at the heels of kylie minogue, who totally sings like she's 12 and not a hundred) and being that it was clubland NUMBER SEVENTEEN i knew that clubland must be a prolific and successful series. shit just gets better when it's seventeen. solid gold, man. i commented on one of the track's youtubes, (yeah, i comment on trax now, whatev) that the song made me want to smoke crystal meth and get anally fisted, and you know, hindsight really is always 20/20. that was probably not the best thing to say on the internet. and this was all before i even knew about the rocket to my favorite big blue marble. ya live, ya learn.

booo ya

ese fuego y esa pasion

2010-07-07T08:22:00.006-04:00

its way too early to be this bored. i'm working on my spanish. did you know enrique iglesias has a new album? i bet you didnt even know there were so many things you could not care about. well internet, that's why i'm here.

do not tell me no. that's really what i want to hear in a relationship. ay ay ay papi, enrique eres muy sexi y forceful y soy un grande faggy homosexual. my spanish really needs some work. enrique also assures me that he'll stay with me although it's forbidden (hot) and not to tell him adios bcuz my lips do not lie and he knows what i want. it's a lot more confusing when i try to spell it all out for you, but that's the chorus and it's repeated about a thousand times and it should be sufficient. it's probably not confusing at all. it's just hard to think about words right now. it feels like i am using parts of my brain that don't get used very often, like it's stretching some old worn-out muscle, and then my head starts hurting. for real. this is trufax. i watch spanish tv sometimes and i can pick out some words but it's way too fast and it hurts my brain. in my spanish class in highschool a hmong and a russian girl were both way better at spanish than me and i was all like, "omg how r u so good" and they both said it was easier to learn a third language after learning a second. i guess they got better at relating the meanings of words? or somethin? or maybe their parents made them study because they weren't lazy americans. it's crazy how a word is a concept, i just wish i could connect the word to the concept faster. like exchange rates through currency. i need to figure them out before i die! all these spanish words. i need to. and not just this song, the whole language. i think today might be the day i learn spanish. i'm gonna learn spanish today!! enrique also says, "no tengo siete vidas como un gato" which means "i dont have seven lives like a cat" and that's pretty strange because i thought cats had nine lives but i guess es diferente en espanol! and really, the only reason i wanted to post this blog is because somebody (either wisin or yandel) says "acercate" (ah-ser-cah-tay) and i think that's something you and i should commit to memory. it means "come closer!" because in my mind it's always followed by an exclamation. and that's what i want you to gain from this, blog: the knowledge that i imagine my life to be a dramatic spanish soap opera where i can just yell "acercate!" at bitches and show them the truth with my lips.

gracias y buenos dias, senor.
EL NINO

Life Lessons (extended version)

2010-07-01T02:30:00.009-04:00

I decided to add this viddy since it's all new, but more importantly because she refers to the "next level" and that is right on track with Boy's latest post. Also, the next level must be a catwalk (Kelly Rowland vid vs. Janelle's "Many Moons").

I am currently drunk. That's why we made this mother fuckin blog. I am not too drunk though. I can still do everything normal if I concentrate hard enough. I want to talk about sisterhood for a minute. Now, it is my duty, as the oldest sister, to impart my knowledge to the younger sisters...

girl: whew bitch im drunk
girl: i did a good ass job
sister: hahahha i know. im sooo fucked up.
girl: seriouslyy
sister: damn i wasa hoe.
girl: it does not even matter
sister: haha hell yeah.
girl: what happens when youre drunk does not count
girl: it aint even real.
sister: fuck yeah.

There are certain values and principles that cannot be overlooked. The first happens to be the one about long term, serious relationships and the freedom to be drunk and have fun. You see, fun takes form in many different ways. One of the most apparent is that of making out/having sexual interactions with other people. We all gotta be free. What the boyfriend/girlfriend don't know won't hurt him/her. My sister learned that lesson tonight. Now, do I adhere to that all the time? No. There have been moments when I was too worried about the significant other finding out to have a good time. But in reality it does not matter one way or the other. We are all going to die and we might as well have a damn good time while we are living. I'm going to sleep now.

3d

2010-06-29T01:48:00.006-04:00

i like this song. she's actually singing over a deadmau5 song called "brazil." don't judge me, this song is pleasing while i read about the large hadron collider. what is that thing?? i dont understand anything, but i am more interested in those synth sounds at 3:00 until the beat drops again at 3:25. i keep replaying the song for that part. i love it, but it isn't very next-level. it is a dancey pop song about happiness by some stranger bitch. it is not ahead of it's time in any way, but set perfectly where it should be.

i really like when people call things "next-level." it makes it sound like we're getting close. i am ready for this new level everyone speaks of, and the "next level visual shit" to accompany it. furthermore, this song by alexis jordan is about happiness and she has backup dancers and windmills. weeeeeeeak. clearly not next-level, but i am glad pop music still uses backup. you know i love a good backup dance, so let me chill on this level for a minute until shit gets crazy.

what the hell is going on in this video? it's a good example of an attempt at... something. something every other popstar is attempting, while wearing no pants. there will be no pants in the next level, but lots of leather and dance offs. i really don't know why kelly has a clone, but i guess i'm just not prepared for the mind-blowing effects of kelly rowland's vogueing. kelly also bursts through some glass? omg grl whats wrong?? who's got you down? is that supposed to be my computer screen, or does the glass wall symbolize beyonce? beyonce shattered a mirror in "sweet dreams," juuuust sayin. david guetta also turns into a table, which is some sort of visual shit.

this morning i watched a cable-in-the-classroom program about quantum physics. we never talked about that in my classroom but i wish we had. maybe it was too next-level. some asian scientist guy convinced me that dinosaurs were in my house. for real, he said that because all the realities and dimensions are stacked and twisted like sheets of paper. everything that exists and could exist and doesn't exist are all overlapping. in a parallel universe there could be EXTRA DIMENSIONS. like now and the future and dance beats and 3D everything. 3D music, which is different from surround sound and also made up, but since i made it up it must exist, right? maybe if we had senses of electric-reception or magnetic waves (like fish or birds) we could submerse ourselves in an electric field of shitty dance songs and feel them in a different way. there is no wikipedia page for "next level" because it isn't there yet.

this is called a "calabi yau manifold" and it is some sort of illustration.

this is "mad max" and its a different sort of illustration.

-brandon

Seriously, Y'all, Fuck.

2010-06-25T13:37:00.005-04:00

I just flooded my grandma's basement. AGAIN. I went to do a load of laundry and I forgot to stick her retarded washer hose out of the window to keep thirty million gallons of water from rushing onto the floor. I think it's not entirely my fault. I mean she needs to get that fixed. She's the only person I know who has to stick a washer hose made out a vacuum cleaner extension out of the goddamn window. Anyway, there was seriously like twenty gallons of water all over the basement. Three inches of water. I hauled ass to my parents' house and got their electric leaf blower and opened all the doors and started blowing the water out on the patio. I had like five different mops and a push broom. I even took up the carpet squares that are in the other room to let them dry out. This is a disaster. I am going to be in so much trouble.

Speaking of disasters...

Them's some interstin' hairs ya got there, Dragonette. I like that middle hair though. It's pretty fly.

Also...

LOL knitted hamburger. How does she be so cute?

Girl

Adventure Time!

2010-06-21T13:01:00.006-04:00

That show is good.

Boy and I went to the beach to hang out with my sister... fo' free, of course. I don't go anywhere unless it's at least 300 miles away and free (jk, jk). Anyway, we left at about 9pm Wednesday night and got to Myrtle sometime around 2am. It was a good trip. We found all the hip hop stations from Hickory to South Myrtle. The weekend was comprised of drinking and (for my fat ass) eating Ramen and dry cereal. We had a near death experience on our way back from getting oranges and Mellow Yellow... So everything is cool. We get back to our parking space and I back my car in to this nice little spot on the end to keep from getting my doors banged up. Well about the time I go to open the door, the sky falls. Sheets of rain are coming down and we were broadside into a powerful wind. Well then we hear thunder crackling all over the place. My ass is hungry. I ain't had no food! Except beer. So I start peeling an orange. About that time I notice little ticking noises. Hail, no doubt. Well then I'm afraid my car is going to have little dings. What can you do? Keep peeling an orange. My mind is hard focused on that process until I feel the car bouncing back and forth. Mother fuckin' wind was gonna blow us away! So then I get excited as we and the vehicles around us are being rocked by the wind. THEN... it's over and we walk back to our place while every emergency vehicle in Horry County barrels down the strip. That's it. That's all I got. Other than that? Hm. We bought dank ass shit from a stranger boy at our hotel and walked down the strip like zombies. The ocean was a bath tub. I got in it one night when I was drunk. My sister's high school friends came over and we talked about higher powers and black holes. We all decided that Boy looks like a red headed Heath Ledger with his long hair. That's it. Beach.

The day after we get back from the beach, I carry my happy ass down to Carowinds with my cousins. We drank vodka on the way down and got pretty lit before we went in. I got on the Hurler first thing. I knew that would tell the tale of whether I vomited or not. Neither of us did. The last thirty minutes we spent literally sprinting from ride to ride around the park to get as much in as we could. FUN FUN FUN. Oh, y'all mother fuckers don't know what fun is until you've ridden the Intimidator when you're drunk. OH MY GOD. It's 242 ft or something and 85 miles an hour. Also it's the longest coaster in the park. BAD ASS.

This message is to Brandon, Hayley and Jamie (of the Hungry Sisters): LET'S GO TO CAROWINDS!!!

CAPITALS!

Girl

bras are optional

2010-06-16T01:02:00.001-04:00

that song is so neko case, but this isn't neko case, it's lissie and she's covering kid cudi. driving drunk is not a good idea. kid cudi just got arrested for beating some chick's door down while possessing liquid cocaine. damn kid cudi, thats crazy. i really like lissie's voice in this song. she has that force-of-mouth thing that makes her sound like she's purging. feelins. amy winehouse also has that mouth force (and i still listen to amy winehouse.) girls are so in touch with those feelins. good job, girls. i'll be goooooooouuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhd.

boy

Music, Life

2010-06-08T22:15:00.004-04:00

That helped me liberate Gerrard V. Really. Now we are listening to Rancid in hopes that it will help us rape Tony Hawk Pro Skater. My sister and her boyfriend hang out a lot in the basement where I live. We play video games, smoke pot, and drink the occasional beer. It is pretty cozy. For now. I've been exercising a lot to get ready for upcoming physical challenges, and my sister noticed the steel pole that supports the trusses and suggested that I download Flirty Girl Fitness. I think that is the funniest idea ever and I'm totally going to do it. After Tony Hawk of course. Anyway I am going to make a viddy of my sister and I doing Flirty Girl Fitness for y'all blog. I am grasping for straws when it comes to interesting content. So if the blog becomes a three ring circus you'll know it's because I'm running out of ideas. Oh! Idea. Hey Boy! Let's make the blog a circus like Britney Spears did the dance floor.

Girl

A Little Too Late

2010-05-31T16:01:00.004-04:00

I strongly encourage you to watch this music vid. It's almost a little too gay for my tastes (not talkin' "Te Amo"), but I still think it has some pretty good points. There's fancy footwork and tuxedo capris. Also that tiny backup dancer girl with the turd roll hair is pretty funny. I just downloaded her debut album and I am thoroughly impressed. Am I late? Should I have already known about her? I don't know. I am not a big fan of Ellen unlike the rest of the world so I probably am behind. Anyway the album reminds me a lot of that Gnarles Barkley song "Going On" because of the drums and the sense of urgency in the melodies. Another cool thing is that the songs roll one right off the other. No breaks between tracks really. I love nonstop music. My life desperately needs that. And boot camp. I need that too.

I wish there was a language that was the reverse of some other language. Like when you play a record backwards. That jumbled up jibberish. That needs to be a language.

Conversations are going to become a major part of my blogging from now on. Because I am lazy.

girl: whos at??
girl: Friend A?
boy: ol bandersnatch
boy: Friend B
boy: i dont remember anything
girl: i am still laughing about bandersnatch

Girl

spirits everywhere in this bitch

2010-05-28T17:04:00.002-04:00

xx: i am listening to some christian dancey music
xx: i dont know how people believe in god
xx: i mean if you believe in god das coo
xx: das ur bznes
yy: yeah
yy: but its retarded
xx: i need to get high on god
xx: HIGH ON GODDD
yy: duuuuude
yy: my sister came home last night the highest ive ever seen her
yy: she was just talking forever
yy: like real deep and shit
yy: and then this commercial for sweet and sour chicken, or some fast food, comes on
yy: and in mid sentence she goes, "hell yeah sweet and sour that shit'll rock your world."

my mom broke her ankle and my brother is an ungodly 14 year-old. he is being a complete and utter dick and i have devised a plan to blackmail him into shutting the fuck up and sitting the fuck down. i know all his secrets because he is a moron and tells me the illegal things he does. everyone is awful. people. teenagers. family members with cabin fever. i am not complaining about helping around the house, or doing most everything, i am just frustrated in this house. all sorts of frustrated. my only peace is found in chopping cabbage. i reached a zen-like state today while chopping cabbage. i chop cabbage almost every day. it can be eaten with anything, but mostly it is a mindless activity. i dont want to sound crazy, but it's mostly about the knife. (any time you preface a "but" statement it negates the meaning.) i dont want to sound crazy, but i also emptied the ashtray in the cat food bowl. it happened very absent-mindedly and i was glad no one was around to see it. kitty would have been so confused.

this song came on the radio and i had some sort of spiritual/cabbage-chopping experience. i need an activity, a hobby, or someone to fuck. someone i can fuck and not talk to. maybe i can meet someone old and creepy on the internet who will also shower me in gifts and never speak to me. know anyone? call me. you can buy me a new video game so i can actively think of nothing while i wait for my next delegated task. i will never have to make small-talk and i can pretend you don't exist when i get tired of you. that would be a fun arrangement. something very unhealthy and abnormal to keep me on my toes. an invisible rich mute. a ghost. i need to date a ghost. it's no wonder cinderella spent all her time talking to rats. i bet she fucked the whole kingdom. all the king's horses and all the king's men. that's the shit disney didn't want you to know about. i thought of that while chopping cabbage and it made me laugh.

boy

I Found A Book Of Love Poems

2010-05-19T23:09:00.004-04:00

Oh, when I was in love with you,
Then I was clean and brave,
And miles around the wonder grew
How well did I behave.
And now the fancy passes by,
And nothing will remain,
And miles around they'll say that I
Am quite myself again.

-A. E. Housman

Apparently this dude was gay. And for your information, I liked that poem before I researched him and found out he was homosexual. I'm such a fag hag. Anyway, I decided to blog it as soon as I read it. I like poems. They are short (sometimes) and direct. They also have rhythm and usually paint pretty pictures in my mind. And that is why short poems are better than long ass books...

That poem is a lot like me. I thought for sure he was a Gemini. But no. Aries. I wish I could tell if he was relieved that he was himself again or if he'd rather be the person he was back when he was loving this "you" person. I think he misses the person "you" made him. Whatever the case may be, I still think that is a wonderful thing to say.

Y'all know that old Cat Power. That's one of my favorites ever. That video is hilarious. A bunch of people from movies and whatnot plummeting to their deaths. The comments are stupid. There's only two comments and they are arguing over what the lyrics mean. Don't contemplate Cat Power!!! Just listen! The internet is just a place where those annoying goth kids from school go to be "smart" and comment on everything anonymously. It's like wearing a paper bag on your head everywhere you go and being a loud mouth know it all at the same time. I feel deja vu happening. One or both of us Goonies have talked about that before. Whatever I'm a hypocrite. We do it too I guess. At least we have our faces out there for god and everybody to see... Haha, we are so smart.

Girl

frinship

2010-05-16T07:56:00.005-04:00

i just watched harriet the spy and it's a fantastic movie. i remember seeing it when it first came out and being upset with myself for not keeping a journal every day since i was born. i want to be harriet, and the boy with purple socks, and the science girl and rosie o'donnells character. the movie is full of good characters. just like beetlejuice. i watched that recently too. good characters.

i've listened to this song so many times. i've blogged about miike snow but i know nobody listened. i'm pretty bitter about that too. just thought you should know. i mean a small part of me is bitter. mostly doesn't care. small parts are also sweet and sour but i'm pretty brackish overall.

i've started reading three books and none of them are really what i want to read. i want to read "valley of the dolls." its about hollywood types addicted to barbituates. things that are relevant to my interests.

last night i had a dream about a childhood friend who i haven't spoken to since elementary school. in the dream she told me she would give me 20 dollars if i would be her friend, but she used the money to buy us shrooms and vodka.

boy

2010-05-12T03:21:00.003-04:00

Boy and Girl

I'm Gonna Give

2010-05-08T17:52:00.005-04:00

masturbation abstinence the old college try. Again. I tried this once and it lasted all of 6 days. You might remember that because I blogged my progress. It was not impressive. This time I'm going for something bigger. Three months. THREE MONTHS. It has already been one, two... FOUR DAYS!!! I didn't realize that! Maybe it has been less. I can't really remember. The days all run together here in this time warp that I live in. Fuckin' twilight zone. I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE. I wanted to post a music but I can't remember what it was. OH YEAH!!!!! JEFF MANGUM PLAYED A SHOW TWO NIGHTS AGO IN NYC.

You have to skip forward to about the :50 mark. OMG. I'M SO HAPPY.
Capital letters are important to this blog's effectiveness.

boy: i want to find a youtube compilation of all of christina's best hollerin
boy: i hate christina
boy: i am exhausted
boy: that was not fun
girl: i hurt my back so bad
boy: doing what?
girl: i ate two hunny buns today
boy: oh my god you fat slut kill yourself
girl: that means i got all my eating of out the way for today and now i can focus on other things
girl: like drinking this diet coke with my right hand and coffee with my left
boy: like all the important things you have to do
boy: i mean wrong
girl: im a huge nature freak 4/30 friendly
girl: he flirted with me a couple times in the lunchroom before he was a boy
boy: so?
boy: i wonder how many people have found their soulmates by posting their vaginas on the internet

Girl