Papaw died :(
I am moving to Asheville on January 1st. Hopefully Leah can get all her affairs in order. My last day of work was today and the house is all packed up and ready to go. Now all we are waiting on is for her mom to get the financial aid squared away. It's taking longer than we expected and there is a chance that she may not get it in time. I will be very, very upset if I have quit my job and terminated my lease for nothing. But I guess that's life and I'll just have to get over it.
I'm a selfish person. I try not to be, but sometimes I am. It seems to me that I live my life for other people. I try not to piss my parents off and I try to be supportive of the people I love, but good god. I just want to be able to do what I want. I want a family who accepts me and I want to be able to take opportunities and chances. But then I remember that other people don't have parents at all and that I should appreciate the life I have. I'm sorry if I want more. I love my girlfriend and I want the best for her. I want to help her achieve her goals, but I can only do what she will allow. I feel really out of sorts about all this. I know I can make everything okay. Great even. No one will let me. Maybe I've taken all my chances and lived the way I wanted already. Maybe now I have to relinquish control of my life and leave it in the hands of fate. I don't want that. I want to be at the helm. But my decisions affect other people and I am having a hard time getting around that.
I've been laughing at this for days:
girl
Friday, December 23, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Shocking Realization: Suicide!
This is my first "shocking realization" and I think its a great debut:
I SAW HALF OF A DEAD PERSON. Capital letters are really important here. Leah and I were driving home on Saturday night at midnight when we came upon two fire trucks and a cop car or two. There was a stopped train and lots of flashlights. The authorities hadn't been there long and we were the first to arrive after them. I cracked the window and heard a lot of dogs barking. Our lane was blocked so we had time to kill. I made Leah move closer so I could get a better look. The street lights follow the train tracks because they are right beside of a little green-way that runs through town (my cycling path), making the severed bottom half of a very unfortunate person perfectly visible. It was a shocking realization if I've ever had one. The legs and ankles looked thin. The feet wore orange flip flops and the legs sported navy sweat pants that appeared to be too small. There was nothing gruesome besides the blood that had stained the groin area of the pants black. Oh and the MISSING TORSO. His flip flops were still on his feet and his legs were in a spread eagle position. Nothing vulgar or distasteful. More comfortable than anything. Anyway, as you can imagine there was a lot of gagging and screaming in our vehicle. The usual carrying-on. There is no police report or anything and I finally found out today that it was a "homeless person". They won't give any other details. Leah and I thought it looked like a child aged 12-14 years. Based on the size of the feet. I mean that's all there was to base this observation on. I'm going to Nancy Drew this mystery until I figure out all of the details. I even went so far as to post an accident report on some accident report database website thing. The internet makes detective work a breeze.
girl
I SAW HALF OF A DEAD PERSON. Capital letters are really important here. Leah and I were driving home on Saturday night at midnight when we came upon two fire trucks and a cop car or two. There was a stopped train and lots of flashlights. The authorities hadn't been there long and we were the first to arrive after them. I cracked the window and heard a lot of dogs barking. Our lane was blocked so we had time to kill. I made Leah move closer so I could get a better look. The street lights follow the train tracks because they are right beside of a little green-way that runs through town (my cycling path), making the severed bottom half of a very unfortunate person perfectly visible. It was a shocking realization if I've ever had one. The legs and ankles looked thin. The feet wore orange flip flops and the legs sported navy sweat pants that appeared to be too small. There was nothing gruesome besides the blood that had stained the groin area of the pants black. Oh and the MISSING TORSO. His flip flops were still on his feet and his legs were in a spread eagle position. Nothing vulgar or distasteful. More comfortable than anything. Anyway, as you can imagine there was a lot of gagging and screaming in our vehicle. The usual carrying-on. There is no police report or anything and I finally found out today that it was a "homeless person". They won't give any other details. Leah and I thought it looked like a child aged 12-14 years. Based on the size of the feet. I mean that's all there was to base this observation on. I'm going to Nancy Drew this mystery until I figure out all of the details. I even went so far as to post an accident report on some accident report database website thing. The internet makes detective work a breeze.
girl
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