Werkin' 4 The Weekend

I have work to do! But I'm not going to do it for a while. Yes, I'm at work. Always at work. I went out with Boy and his boy for St. Patrick's Day last night. I had a beer and a half. I made sure I peed though. As I was telling Boy last night, one of the strange men I hitched a ride with (a month or two ago when I warped the wheel of my car sliding down Old Fort mountain on my way to work at 4:30am) told me about all of his DUI's as we shared a joint in his beat up work truck. One story in particular of a drunken brush with the law caught my attention. He said he was at a party and the cops came and broke it up, telling them they had to leave. But the police had purposefully set up a road block a quarter of a mile down the road from the party. He was asked to blow, of course, along with all the other driver's of the cars leaving the party. He stalled a while by fucking up his breathalizer everytime. Not blowing hard enough and all. Well the police new he was drunk because they saw him at the party, so they said well we are taking you to the station to do it on the machine there. Well on the way he complained about having to pee and asked them to let him. Well they wouldn't, of course. So when he got out of the car, he pissed all over himself. He ended up blowing a .06 due to, what he claims was, allowing his kidneys to filter out much of the alcohol by stalling forever and then relieving himself. I'm not sure if there is any science fact to back this up, but it was good enough for me and from now on I will always pee before I leave the bar. Even if I've only drank water! I mean I never plan to drive drunk again, but just as a safety measure I will urinate. Great story. Also, I've found that I have a weakness for painers. BAD. I am choosing not to take them anymore at all. Not for recreation or legitimate need. Hm, anymore recent developments. Oh yeah, my girlfriend is the GREATEST. Srsly. I'm pretty happy these days, all things considered. Especially considering I lose my license on May 9th. Wah. Oh well! I'll probably buy a scooter, haha. I'll be so cool. Also, I love the people that come to substance abuse group. They are all really funny and trashy and old. I like them. I mean I don't want to hang out with them anywhere other than group. God knows I don't need any other bad habits. But they are fun once a week. The girl I work with and I just established that we will go out for 35oz Dosequis and chips and salsa if we get off early today. FUN. Also, she's a mom, which makes it even cooler. Haha. All moms should spend their early Fridays drinking beer and eating Mexican food. Okay, I'm going now.

girl